Freshperson Conference: the skinny

Imagine the thrill of driving back to Yale--the long-awaited promised land--with a bus full of freshmen belting "Bulldog" out of the window at the top of their lungs, forcing all those sorry "FOOT-ies" and non-orientation folks to enviously listen in. The pride you feel for your school is overwhelming. You have just returned from Freshperson Conference, a school spirit-instilling experience.

I have to admit, I chose Freshperson Conference over FOOT because I hate to camp: I loathe bugs, dirt, not showering, bugs, not having a toilet, not having toilet paper, and bugs. So, I decided to go on Conference--an innocent three-day trip to a summer camp in semi-rural Connecticut--and the experience was unique.

Let's begin with the basics, because that's all there really was. The place where we stayed was not much more than a n average campsite. There were in fact shower stalls and sinks for us, but would you wash in brown water on a mildew-covered floor? If your answer is "no," then you will not shower at all while wyou are on Conference. But, hey, the FOOT-ies have a week of this hell, and we still had toilet paper and mattresses. Conference is for those who actually like the outdoors, but still value certain amenities of modern civilization.

Besides, beyond such petty complaints, Conference is wonderful. Since over 300 freshmen attend, you get to meet many people you will recognize around campus for the rest of your time at Yale. In fact, Conference is a great way to get to know people before you get to school. When you see someone familiar on the street, you can ask, "Hey, did you go on Conference?" and chances are they did. You definitely won't come away knowing all 300 names, but familiar faces are always a comforting sight.

Some of you are probably thinking that Conference sounds impersonal. However the larger group of 300 is divided into subsets of eight people, called "pods." Each pod has two upperclassmen pod-leaders who organize games like Boppity-Bop (which I won't spoil by explaining the rules), and lead discussions about Yale issues. You eat meals, participate in activities, and bond with the people who are in your pod.

The entire group joins together in some memorable Frosh Conference events. Events include dividing up into residential colleges to learn and perform your college's cheers, and singing all the Yale fight songs in unison. One night we had a huge square dance with a real, live country caller. I know it sounds a little corny, but the sight of over 300 "intellectuals" trying to simultaneously dance and listen to a man speaking 200 words a minute is a spectacle in itself. Another night we took a trip to a nearby graveyard and told ghost stories.

Freshperson Conference also includes educational speakers and panels which give an accurate idea of what Yale is really like. One highlight two years ago was the sex panel in which a number of students talked about their dating and sexual experiences at Yale. The Conference coordinators selected a diverse array of students to speak. One man last year discussed being homosexual at Yale, another talked about having a long-distance girlfriend (who apparently called him "skinny lizard head"), and another spoke about being a virgin. Most memorable was the girl who spoke about her countless "random hookups." The speakers were realistic and believable, and they didn't try to hype Yale as something it is not.

Conference shows a slice of life at Yale and ensures that you'll arrive knowing a handful of people and sort-of knowing a whole bunch. You'll return to campus with friends, so you won't feel as clueless the first few days of school. Just remember, if you want to return to Yale in one piece, don't take a shower in the cabins--and if you do, don't swallow the water.

Graphic by Carlos Mena.

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