Don't talk like frosh: a guide to Yalespeak

This is a dictionary of Yale lingo. Cut it out and stick it in your pocket, but take it out before you wash your pants.

Bagging: You're in bed. It's 9:45 a.m. You had a class at 9:30. Maybe you'll make it next week.

Beer goggles: People start to look interesting when you've had something to drink. If you hook up as a result of this phenomenon, you've been looking through beer goggles.

Blue Book: The all-knowing, all-seeing, all-hearing tome of class listings and descriptions. Think of it as your Bible.

The Bowl: One of the oldest stadiums in the universe and desperate for a face lift. It can hold 75,000 spectators, but usually it's more like 1,000.

Bursar: The Bursar and your parents should become good friends. If not, you might get put on "Bursar's hold." This means that you think you're a Yale student, you feel like a Yale student--but, somehow, you're not.

Bursar billable: Free!--until your parents get the bill and start to complain.

CCL: Cross Campus Library, underground home of the weenie-bins and lots of '70s furniture. Almost as popular a place for socializing as studying.

Commons at Night: YCC's attempt to bring late night eats to the poor deprived souls in Silliman and TD.

Co-op: Where you used to be able to buy a 79-cent eraser for $2.50 and charge it to your parents. Now that it's relocated, you can travel two extra blocks to get ripped off.

Couch Duty: There are two people in your bedroom and you are not one of them. Guess where you get to sleep. Also known as "sexile."

CR/D/F: Taking a class "Credit/D/Fail" means doing just enough work to get a C-, or doing too much work, getting an A, and feeling like a dork. Used to be CR/F. Then, all you needed was a D-. Those were the days.

The Daily: The Daily Caffé on Elm Street, not to be confused with the Yale Daily News. Long night ahead of you? Stop by for a croissant, cappuccino, and caffeine.

Dean's Excuse: No need to choose between a wild night on the town and that seminar paper. Just practice your fake cough and postpone it.

The Doodle: Time-tested hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop, the Yankee Doodle. This hamburger shack honors Yalies who stuff themselves with butter-topped burgers in the Doodle Challenge--the current record is 22.

DS: Directed Studies. Also Definite Suffering, Deep Shit, and Directed Suicide. Now when someone mentions Kant, you can say in all honesty, "Metaphysics of Morals? I hated Metaphysics of Morals!"

DUH: Huh? People still use this acronym to refer to the old Department of University Health, even though they changed the name to University Health Services about 17 years ago. Have a headache? According to these professionals, you're probably pregnant.

Durfee's Sweet Shoppe: This bursar-billable coffee and snack shop is located in the basement of Durfee. It has everything from Swedish fish to caffeinated water.

Feb Club: A party every night for the whole month of February--if you can find it before the police break it up.

Flex Dollars: Yale University Dining Hall's feeble attempt to retain students loyalty without improving the crap they serve. Trade seven meals a week for $100 a semester.

GESO: A scary organization of grad student TAs that wants to become a full-fledged labor union. An endless source of controversy and a thorn in the side of the Yale Administration, now that the NLRB has joined the fight.

Group IV: Students who think a good time means hanging out with a lab report instead of friends. If you're not a Group IV, you'll live in fear of these math and science classes.

Gut: An easy class to take the pressure off a busy schedule and fulfill distributional requirements. See "EE 101," "Physics for Poets," or "Clapping for Credit."

Legacy: A Yalie who is here because his/her parent or other miscellaneous relative went here. They help the curve and heavily populate colleges like Branford and Davenport.

LGBT Co-op (Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender): Sponsor of dances wild enough to attract students of all orientations. Not to be confused with the Yale Co-op.

Machine City: A subterranean mecca connecting CCL and Sterling; it's home to study groups, lone coffee-swillers, and vending machines that fulfill your junk-food fantasies.

Metro Cab: New Haven's major cab company. Call at least three months in advance, and they'll probably be late anyway. Their phone number is easy to remember: 777-7777. This is perhaps a Biblical reference.

Mory's: Old Blue exclusive establishment where Yalies drink from "cups" filled with champagne-based colored concoctions. It even has its own song.

Naples: Far from a city in Italy, this crowded pizza joint features cheap beer, classic rock, dancing, and mass scamming. Due to a city-wide alcohol crackdown, you'll have to find an "over 21" hand stamp.

Problem set: An annoying weekly assignment you're inevitably faced with in any given Group IV class. This thankless task will keep you up until 2 a.m. on Sunday nights, but will only count for about 1/50 of your grade.

Reading Period: Absolutely necessary for everyone who hasn't done any reading in a course all semester. Conveniently scheduled right before finals week.

Saybrook Strip: Back in the day, Saybrugians stripped to their undies at football games to the tune of "The Stripper." Even without band accompaniment, you can still hear your parents cry: "Oh my God they're taking off all their clothes!"

Science Hill: A half-mile from Old Campus, this is God's way of punishing Group IV majors who would otherwise get no exercise.

Shopping Period: What? You mean we're supposed to attend classes then? Naaaah....

SOM: Trade chicken tenderbites for a turkey club and some frozen yogurt. While it is a trek up Prospect Street, SOM's cafeteria is the only place it's worth paying $6.95 for a meal.

Spring Fling: Campus-wide party held the weekend before Reading Week. Moved to Old Campus last year, the Fling featured Yale bands, the Lemonheads, and no red meat.

The Stacks: You can get lost forever in Sterling Memorial Library's tower of books. 117893 1v23 LC? You find it. Also an alleged haven for amorous trysting.

Store 24: It's a store. It's open 24 hours. See if you can figure it out. Then call and ask what time they close.

TA: Teaching Assistant. They grade you in large lecture courses, based on how enthusiastically you participate in (or attend) 9:30 a.m. Friday sections.

Tang: An intramural beer-drinking competition. Current chug-a-lug champs: Saybrook (men) and Calhoun (women).

Toad's: This New Haven hot spot attracts all kinds of great musical performers--you know, like the Radiators and the Molly Maguires. Unfortunately, for most concerts you must be 21, and the doormen are big and hairy.

Tyng: The college intramurals prize. TD won last year, complete with uniforms and a little attitude. Ashé.

WaWa: Technically called "Krauszer's," this 24-hour food mart is still referred to by its former name. Fill up for a long night of studying or mitigate tomorrow's hangover with a quick visit.

Weenie bin: Similar to isolation tanks, the weenie bins are study carrels in CCL. They also serve as nap rooms and the sites of strange sexual escapades.

The Whale: Feels like a hockey rink, looks like a whale.

YCC: The Yale College Council, a student-government equivalent that prompts rabid involvement by Yale's politicos-to-be, along with a deluge of pestering and postering just before the YCC elections. This puppet regime is responsible for organizing Spring Fling.

YDN: The Yale Daily News. Yale's daily newspaper. Don't work for them; it'll stunt your growth. Forsake their stuffy building for our comfortable, cozy office.

The Yale Herald: The campus' favorite paper. We come out weekly, with lots of pages, photos galore, news, a calendar of events, comics, sports, and more. We publish free telephone directories, valentines, and other nice stuff. Work for us. And remember: Have a nice day.

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