For those of you with more subversive taste...

By Robby O'Connor

You'll probably be on Old Campus for less than five minutes before the diversity of Yale smacks you across your naïve little frosh face. You'll marvel at it and actually say things like, "This place is diverse, man!" or "I feel like I'm on MTV's The Real World, it's so diverse here." And it's all true. Where else could you make friends from far-off, exotic lands like Greece and Oklahoma and learn about the bizarre ways of the Canadians (they're cannibals, you know)?

But despite being privy to this smorgasbord of culture, you'll find that your weekends are always the same. You'll hang out with friends, maybe you'll go to a fraternity and drink. While this may sound exciting for those of you who have never let go of Mommy's hand long enough even to smell a beer (the first week of school proves that 90 percent of you are able to get drunk off a thimbleful of mouthwash), and I promise that it will certainly get real dull real fast.

To save yourselves from the inevitable onsetting ennui, you'll most likely have to turn to the darker corners of the Ivory Tower and associate with fringe groups, groups that won't be advertising at the freshman bazaar—deviant groups!

Now, for those of you who don't know, deviants are just like you or me, except they have more fun. The only unifying characteristic of deviants across the country and from college to college is their blatant rejection of the status quo. While most of us end up doing the same thing all the time, deviants do it in a more outrageous fashion, infusing it with the holy trinity of deviancy—Sex, Drugs, or Rock 'n' Roll (and all three if you're lucky).

For the convenience of you prospective deviants, I'll break down the various fringe groups at Yale into the three aforementioned categories (again—and say it with me out loud this time—Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll) and address each category individually. Don't get scared if there's some overlap between categories—it's more fun that way.

Sex—By far the most popular way to deviate. While some people aren't into drugs, or are happy humming the top-ten turds on MTV, everyone (even religious types) would like a little more sex in their lives. For these people, we recommend making friends with the Pundits. As far as I can tell, these merry pranksters think that everything is more fun in the buff, be it going to a party (yes, they throw naked parties) or going to the library (they go to CCL during exam week clad only in their birthday suits, shouting "Happy Exams!" at the stressed). Also check out the S.O.B.s (Society of Orpheus and Bacchus--a singing group), whose parties are rumored to turn into wild orgies. For those whose sexual tastes lean towards the more perverse, join a frat! Word around campus is that one frat makes their pledges and drunken party guests get intimate with a dog. For more on bestiality, check the Net.

Drugs—Hard to come by. Consider your stay at Yale a BYO event. Every once in a while you might smell some pot in the air at a party, but chances are you either won't be able to find it or you won't be able to brave your way through the crowd to get to it. You might also want to check out B & K (Bong and Keg Society) if you're fiending for a J, but even they aren't a sure bet, and their parties are usually kept a little quieter and more private than frat gatherings. Any drugs harder than pot are kept really quiet. People at Yale don't generally use drugs and the few that do, unless they're your friends, probably won't share.

Rock 'n' Roll—I didn't always think listening to music was a deviant thing to do...until I came to Yale. If you're among those who think that everything on MTV and the radio sucks, that any band other than the Indigo Girls would have been a better choice to play Spring Fling, then you're definitely going to be a deviant at Yale. If you want to hear new music of any sort, you're going to have to actively pursue it. WYBC, Yale's farce of a student radio station, recently canned all the DJs who didn't feel like playing "Adult Urban Contemporary" music like Bobby Brown and Babyface, so don't waste your time there. Yale's music scene is very do-it-yourself, and the best way to hear new music is through friends. They'll introduce you to some new stuff. You'll talk about starting your own fanzine. You might even get around to doing it. Students are currently trying to revive Nadine, "the magazine that wishes it were a band"—a student publication that fell off the face of the earth years ago.

The DIY approach is probably the best way to break up the tiresome monotony of college life in general. If you get tired of the way other people throw parties, throw your own. Throw one with your own creative dress code, your own substances, and your own music, dammit. Your guests may be few and far between, but you'll have a better time at college for it.

Graphic by Matt Wiegle.

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