For those of you with more subversive taste...

You'll probably be on Old Campus for less than five minutes before the diversity of Yale smacks you across your face. You'll marvel at it and actually say things like, "This place is diverse, man!" or "I feel like I'm on MTV's The Real World, it's so diverse here." And it's all true: where else could you make friends from far-off, exotic lands like Greece and Oklahoma and learn about the bizarre ways of the Canadians?

But despite being privy to this smorgasbord of culture, you'll find that your weekends are always the same. You'll hang out with friends, or maybe you'll go to a fraternity and drink. While this may sound exciting for those of you who have never let go of Mommy's hand long enough even to smell a beer (the first week of school proves that 90 percent of you are able to get drunk off a thimbleful of mouthwash), I promise that it will get real dull real fast.

To save yourselves from the inevitable onset of ennui, you'll most likely have to turn to the darker corners of the Ivory Tower and associate with groups that won't be advertising at the freshman bazaar: deviant groups.

Now, for those of you who don't know, deviants are just like you or me, except that they have more fun. While most of us end up doing the same thing all the time, deviants do it in a somewhat more outrageous fashion, infusing it with the ultimate holy trinity of deviancy—Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll.

For the convenience of you prospective deviants, I'll break down the various fringe groups at Yale into the three aforementioned categories and address each individually.

Sex: While some people aren't into drugs, or are happy humming the top-10 hits on MTV, everyone (even religious types) would like a little more sex in their lives. For these people, we recommend making friends with the Pundits. These merry pranksters think that everything is more fun in the buff, be it going to a party (yes, they throw naked parties) or going to the library (they go to Cross Campus Library during reading week clad only in their birthday suits, shouting "Happy Exams!" and throwing candy at the stressed). Also check out the Society of Orpheus and Bacchus (SOBs), a singing group whose parties are rumored to turn into wild orgies. For those whose sexual tastes lean towards the more perverse, join a frat. Word around campus is that DKE makes its pledges and drunken party guests get intimate with a dog. For more on bestiality, check the 'Net.

Drugs: Hard to come by. Consider your stay at Yale an every-man-for-himself event. You might want to check out Bong and Keg Society (B&K) if you're fiending for a hit, but even they aren't a sure bet, and their parties are usually kept quieter and a lot more private than frat gatherings. Any drugs harder than pot are kept even more quiet. People at Yale generally don't use all that many drugs, and the few who do probably won't share.

Rock 'n' Roll: If you're among those who think that everything on MTV and the radio sucks, then you're going to be a deviant at Yale. If you want to hear new music of any sort, you're unfortunately going to have to actively pursue it. The good news is that getting a show on WYBC's recently acquired second station, 1340 AM, isn't at all difficult, and there are few restrictions on what can be played. Yale's music scene is very do-it-yourself, and the best way to hear new music is through friends. They'll introduce you to some new stuff. You'll talk about starting your own fanzine. You might even get around to doing it.

The do-it-yourself approach is probably the best way to break up the monotony of college life in general. If you get tired of the way other people throw parties, throw one with your own creative dress code, your own substances, and your own music, dammit. Your guests may be few and far between, but you'll have a better time for it.

Graphic by Matt Wiegle.

Back to After Hours...