...as the Mock Trialers start fast, and score down low.

College is about bullshit, about learning to produce 25-page papers that talk about nothing. Some people hone this skill at the Dramat, giving long monologues that aren't worth a bag of smoke. Many of us, though, end up at the Yale Mock Trial Association (YMTA), and learn to bullshit in the language of the law. And you might hear about a few delinquents who join the Debate Association, but they're so aberrant that they really bear no mention. YMTA's where it's at, baby.

SARA EDWARD-CORBETT/YH

The serious stuff: Mock Trial provides a peek into real world applications of speaking and critical thinking, in front of real-world judges and real-world attorneys. Provided with a legal case, we use our acute (and superior) analytical skills to build a solid trial strategy that we take to court, where we present what we have prepared while implementing formal litigation procedure. This can become truly insidious—ask any roommate of a YMTAer who has been woken up by frantic, slumbering cries of "Objection! That assumes facts not in the record!"

The not-so-serious stuff: pretending to be a high-powered, high-priced lawyer is enough of a high to satiate the ego of any Yalie. Many people claim to be pre-law—only a few of us get to cross-examine a witness and bring him to tears without feeling bad. Not legally minded but like to act? Be a Mock Trial witness instead. You get to put on a thick accent (the thicker and more exotic, the better, of course), throw out a lot of fake, unbelievable information and watch impotent lawyers squirm in their seats. And let me tell you, there's not much better than watching a Harvard lawyer squirm.

But at the end of the day, it all comes down to coolness—it's a lot cooler to sit in court and argue cases so perverse The Practice wouldn't take them instead of just arguing with each other à la Debate. Just ask the joint YMTA and Debaters who chose to go to the YMTA Nationals instead of that weekend's Debate debacle. Yes Jay, Brian Halligan Fletcher, CC '01. We've got him too.

Back to Just Do It...