Spring is the most subversive season. It was in April that Paul Revere made his Midnight Ride, that farmers near Concord fired the shot heard round the world, that the colonies told King George to "Tax this!" You say you want a revolution? Well, inspired by the insurgent spirit of spring, the Houn is casting off the chains of Tyng tyranny. As the weather turns warm, the Houn Rebel Alliance climbs ever-upward in the ranks, and the JE Death Star trembles in its orbit.
This week, the Calhoun co-ed soccer team declared their independence in a victorious season opener against Stiles. Led by junior captains, Brandon "C'mon baby shake your body, do the" Vanga and Analisa "passes the ball like Shapiro passed the" Barbosa, the Hounies rallied past Stiles with four unanswered goals. Bagging and tagging the opposition were Liz "get in my way and I'll turn you into a cad"Averill '98 and Mike "If you're hungry for more let's go to a banq"Whitney '96. The game also marked the return of "Makes the opposition look like a bunch of" Jerry"atrics" Wang '97 who joined Sarah "deadlier than the" Black "Plague" '98 and Mary "if you could" Pat"ent my moves, you'd make millions" McMahon '97 as they laid siege to the piddly Stiles defense. Meanwhile, goalie and Houn hockey vet AnDy"nasty is good but Dallas is better" Healy '98 made more saves than the cast of Baywatch.
Till next week, Liberte! Egalite! Calhounite!
(Compiled by that cake who says, "Eat me.")
Copyright 1996, The Yale Herald, Inc. All rights reserved.
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