Police Blotter

9/23 at 10:23 AM. 302 Temple St., Lot #51. An unknown subject punctured the front passenger tire of a van assigned to the Yale Press. The Yale Press missed the scoop and was unable to comment.

9/23 at 2:25 PM. An unknown subject entered an unsecured refrigerator and stole two cases of hamburger patties. With no leads, suspects, motives or evidence, an irate Yale police officer was heard exclaiming, "Where's the beef?!"

9/21 at 1:28 AM. 217 Park St., Yale Cabaret. A man's wallet was taken from his pants when left unattended and unsecured in the first floor bathroom. To everybody's relief, the pants were left at the scene.

9/21 at 2:18 AM. 242 Elm St., Saybrook College. A male subject was arrested for Simple Trespass after being found sleeping someone else's room. The man was released from custody after attributing his deviancy to a "Nyquil overdose."

9/19 at 9:19 PM. 344 College St., Phelps Hall a male subject was arrested for peddling without a permit after he was observed selling roses on the street. Police say that as soon as the man registers his bicycle, he will be released, and the flowers will be returned to him.

--Compiled by Dan Zimmerman