Editor's Tales

The other night your favorite editor had a nightmare. She woke up shaking and nervous, in a cold sweat, and had to run into her parents bedroom for the comfort only they could offer. They wiped away her tears and dried the sweat off her face as she began to tell them the cause of her panic.

"M-m-m-m-o-o-o-om, th-th-they might cancel the int-int-intra-murals page," she cried. "I was running to class with the paper in my arms, and all of a sudden two huge girls came up behind me and using all of their athletic abilities, wrested the paper from me. They told me that Administrtive Assistant Phillip "Anal" Retentivo didn't think that the intramural page belonged in the University's prestigious Yale Herald. The ugly girls told me that they were ordered to rip out every page 23 of every Herald published this year, and that from now on there would no longer be a page 23."

"Oh, no, honey, they would never do that. Everybody loves the intramural page. Do you really think that he and Mr. "I hate every intramur" Al '42 would do that to you, and to Yale, and to TD?"

"Mom, I know. How else will the TD kids get their self-confidence?" she asked as her tears were drying.

The "panic-stricken" Editor began to calm down at this point because she realized that the Intramural page was here to stay. "We vital to every student in every college," she said, regaining strength.

"That's right, honey," her mom said.

"Jack "30 points a g" Ame and Sarah "fastest swimmer this side of the Miss" Issippi need some recognition," the editor said, "only we can do it."

"Mom, do you wanna know what? We might not be the best page in the paper right now, but come springtime we are going to rise from the armpits of the paper into the heavens to rest among Journomagnus, the God of Journalism."

"I think that maybe you are spending too much time with intramural writers. What do you think? Are you listening to me? Maybe you wouldn't have these terrible nighmares if you spent more time with the news or the sports writers instead of with those lunatic intramural writers. Honey, honey, sugar, muffin, sweety, are you awake?"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." As she snored, she dreampt of the great possibilities in store for page"number one" 23 of the Yale Herald. Back to Intramurals...