Bringing morality back to Yale

BY DONNA M. RICE

I have recently become alarmed by the moral decay at Yale. In just a few years, I have seen an institution of renowned intellectual and ethical superiority begin a descent into the depths of corrupt behavior. Granted, the decline has as of yet displayed itself in only limited ways. Yet, I fear that even such limited acts will lead to an inevitable diminishing of the social and intellectual atmosphere at Yale and, as a natural consequence, of society as a whole. I have therefore taken it upon myself to develop a new set of rules, the Blue Book of Behavioral Regulations--to be followed as strictly as the academic version. To achieve this new standard, I propose the following:

* Morality 101: Taught by a professor with an unimpeachable record of conduct (if one could be hired), it would cover basic social rules for living, focusing on proper relations between men and women (i.e. conversation, outings, and proper sexual behavior).

* Campuswide wake-up: To ensure more use of the morning hours, the bells at Harkness Tower would chime at exactly 6 a.m., seven days a week. To reinforce this, breakfast would be served from 6:30 a.m. until 7:30 a.m.; those who cannot wake up (for questionable reasons) will therefore not eat until lunchtime.

* Lights out: Masters would be responsible for nightly visits to each room of their college. At 10:30 p.m., the master would conduct a check to confirm that all students were in the room, in bed, and would turn out the lights for the night on the way out.

* Social activities: An important addition to the social scene would be the required attendance of a master, dean, or dean's spouse at every event. This supervisor would remain until the end of the event, possibly stationed at the beverage table to pour the Coca-Cola.

* Dress Code: While I would not suggest a uniform, I feel some kind of a dress code is necessary to improve the general moral atmosphere. All boys would wear blue pants and blue vests; girls would wear blue knee-length skirts and white blouses. The lengths and colors of hair for both sexes would be clearly specified.

* Behavior Report: A weekly report by the student's advisor. It would consist of a phone call to the parents or guardian detailing the student's conduct. Any impure language or rule violation would be reported, as would any contact with the opposite sex.

The infringment of academic regulations carries its own punishment, and I would not interfere with these rules. However, to enforce the new behavioral code, I feel it necessary to specify the disciplinary action to be taken should any of these rules go unheeded. The proper procedure would consist of a stay at the dean's house. (For severe infringements, President Levin's house.) A committee consisting of Levin, the college deans, and myself would meet on each case to decide the length of stay.

I realize that not everyone will approve of my proposal, especially those who enjoy contributing to the embarrassing decline in the level of social conduct. However, I have risked rejection because I feel strongly the need for public awareness of these issues. The role of the media greatly impacts our thinking and behavior. I am certain that when Murphy Brown became a single mother the number of children born out of wedlock increased. When the Herald prints articles that make use of profanity or describe certain behaviors or body parts, it condones such language and behavior, increasing its prevalence. Thus I hope that, by printing an article on our common morality, it will help increase the prevalence of such values.

Although these regulations may not come into effect for several years, or may only be initiated in a revised version, I hope that one day, when I return to visit my alma mater, I shall see all students arrayed in the splendid blue of Yale, speaking in language their grandparents would be proud of. And perhaps such improved conduct will extend to the professors as well, who might also benefit from the above regulations and who may require a Blue Book of Behavioral Regulations all their own.

Ms. Rice declines President Clinton's invitation to ride wheelchair one.

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