Do bleach blondes have more fun?

I don't mean highlights, I don't mean frosting. I don't mean the kind of blond where only you and your hairdresser know for sure. I am talking unnatural--the orangey-yellow and the whitest of white. The bleach-blond trend is taking over Yale, and I know I'm not the only one to have noticed.

What does it all mean? Why are so many people jumping on the bleach-blond bandwagon? Believe or not, going canary has its motivations. For one thing, bleach-blond hair is kind of rebellious. You may be a middle-class kid from the suburbs, but you too can cut the chains of the establishment. Put away that notebook and impersonate a Hollywood punk--or maybe just one of those kids hanging out in front of the Daily Caffe. No, of course you're not a Yalie.

The glamour factor is also a major motivator for would-be Blondies. Do you think Marilyn Monroe would have become a national icon if she had stayed a brunette? Of course not, because gentlemen prefer blondes. The current bleaching trend may be more about rock star glamour than the Dietrich-Garbo movie star brand. It's glamour with a touch of trash. With bleach-blond hair, every sniffle becomes a habit, every bruise becomes a track mark.

But maybe I've gone too far. The bleach-blond hair craze might just be about fun. After all, everyone's heard the maxim--blondes have more fun. Think Barbie, the epitome of sun-washed California vacuity. Just picture her racing down the Pacific Coast Highway in her pink convertible, her long hair flying in the wind. Her long blond hair, of course.

Bleach blondes are punk, glam, a little trashy, and definitely fun--everything that young people want. But don't reach for your peroxide just yet. Bleach-blond hair just doesn't look good on everybody. Don't get me wrong, it looks absolutely stunning on some people; supermodels and rock stars come to mind. Even a couple of people here at Yale look great with bleach-blond hair. You know who I'm talking about, the ones with the je nais sais punk to pull off bleach-blond cool. They are probably the same people whose hair helped everyone decide to go bleach-blond in the first place. But what looks good on some does not look good on all. In fact, what looks good on some makes others look like giant highlighter pens.

Now before all of you people with bleach- blond hair decide to hunt me down, I want to admit something to you. I too once fell victim to the bleach-blond hair mania. I too sat in a bathroom with peroxide volume 40 burning a hole in my scalp. Even worse, I dyed my bleached hair putrid shades of red, green, and blue. I only wish that someone had come to me early on and screamed, "Stop the insanity!" I am ashamed of my past peroxide abuse, and though I know we all must be fashion victims at some point, or points, looking back on those bleached-out days still makes me cringe. Even more, the fact that I did not seek my friends' honest opinions, and probably would not have taken them if they had been offered, makes those days especially traumatizing to remember.

What does not kill us makes us stronger. So, from one who knows, a heartfelt plea: whether you're a fashion victim or a fashion maven--whatever your reasons for having bleach-blond hair--please, go to those you love and trust and ask, "What do you think of my hair?" And this time, wait for an honest answer.

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