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Branford

They said it couldn't be done. They said it was impossible. They mocked the comparison to a horde of angry fire ants. They counted on Branford to be passive. Well, they counted wrong.

There we were in seventh place for the first time since 1995. That's right, we moved from tenth to seventh in one week. And we are only getting stronger.

The coed volleyball team is about to pick up some more Tyng points for us. They will fight the good fight for t-shirts in the semifinals this week led by captain extroardinaire Melissa "The LSAT is my bitch" Pena '98. Also getting fitted for the championship shirts are aged veterans Loren "and Stimpy" Stewart '99, Angie "You can't say we never tried" Smith '98, "Rye, wheat, or pumper-" Niko Smrekar '98, and Nat "ural" Hodes '00. New to the ranks but continuing the winning tradition is Roric To-"It's" -bin "nice knowing ya" '01.

The women's soccer team has been earning its sweets with tremendous play. Lately we have been taking the field to cheers of "Who's hot, who's not?" Like a bad habit, the team dropped DC-PC 3-0 and SY-TC by a score of 8-0. For the nonobservant reader, that means back-to-back shutouts. Kudos go out to Meredith "is the way it's done" Trowbridge '99, Kaori Yamada "'s gotta a glass eye with a fish in it" '98, Jasmine "I-" Ma "-gine there's no goalie" '00, and Ariel "Drove the Chevy to the" Levy '98.

Speaking of domination, the Branford men's touch football team just might be able to compete with the varsity team these days. What kind of domination are we talking about here? Can you say 147-34 in the last three games? Leading the charge are Danny "Boy" Goldman '98, Christian "Oktoberfest" Vorkink '99, Patrick "After every victory we are off to the local" Bareiss '99, Scott "I'll show you puffy!" Rathmill '98, and Mike "Let's try a pick play?" Smith '00.

I warned you in week one. Beware of the Branford Posse. We are moving up the ranks and we will stop for nothing. Timothy Dwight has Ashé. Branford has Hadjusiewicz. BFA.

(Compiled by the guy who was without a doubt the biggest jerk at the Branford Screw.)

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