Wow your friends with movie rental savvy

Here's the scenario: Thanksgiving Break, 1997. You've recovered from alcohol poisoning after The Game and you're back at home enjoying a break from classes, shower caddies, and grade D meat. Someone you kind of knew in high school calls to see if you want to hang out; you suggest renting a video--a safe bet since you probably don't have much to talk about.

Your friend meets you at the video store, and suddenly you're both struck with amnesia--you can't think of a single flick to rent. Don't tell me it's never happened to you before. The situation is looking pretty bleak when suddenly you remember the list in your back pocket. "So," you ask your high school acquaintance, "What kind of movie do you want to see...?"

How about an '80s gem like Choose Me (1984), a criminally underrated film about a bizzare love triangle between Genevieve Bujold (a radio talk show host called Dr. Love), Lesley Ann Warren (a down-and-out, disillusioned night club owner), and Keith Carradine (an escaped mental patient with a mysterious past)? Ingenuously shot and structured, this dark saga of the 1980s urban underworld will keep you spellbound.

Or maybe your friend is one of those literary types. If so, he or she is sure to love Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet (1968). This masterful rendering of everyone's favorite tragic love story proves that Shakespeare doesn't need to be turned into a virtual- reality video game in order to keep your attention. In perhaps his most radical effort to stay true to the play, Zeffirelli chose to have 15- and 18-year-old actors portray the doomed Italian pair.

So your friend just wants to laugh. If you're looking to take a walk on the wackier side of humor, check out Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970), the X-rated saga of an itinerant psychedelic girl band with enough one-liners to last you the rest of your college career. This quasi-
ridiculous movie would be nothing without a hilarious screenplay by Roger Ebert, but a good script makes all the difference.

It's okay that your friend is a snob and won't even consider renting a film without having heard of the director. Wow this "sophisticate" by suggesting one of these lesser-known films by better-known directors. Try Robert Altman's McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971), starring Warren Beatty and Julie Christie and set in the rough and rugged Pacific Northwest of the 1840s. When McCabe (Beatty) comes to a small mining town to set up a bordello, the last person with whom he expects to form a partnership is Mrs. Miller (Christie), a prostitute who is more than willing to take business matters into her own hands. Shot in Altman's signature meta-realistic style, this film portrays the people of the Wild West as they truly were: in dire need of a shower. And with a stellar score by Leonard Cohen, you don't even have to watch it to enjoy it.

Or try out my favorite Jim Jarmusch flick, Mystery Train (1989). The film synthesizes unity and fragmentation, weaving together three intertwining vignettes about visitors to an empty Memphis hotel. Jarmusch's films are notoriously slow (the scenes are often shot in real time), but each frame of Mystery Train is so carefully and quirkily constructed that you won't be able to resist the desire to rewind. And how can we mention great directors without mentioning Woody Allen? You've all seen Annie Hall, but have you delved far enough into the Mia Farrow years to discover The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), his tragicomic love story? Boy meets girl meets magical realism in this tale of a depressed housewife movie-addict and her affair with a film character (Jeff Daniels) who steps off the screen and into her life. It certainly contains one of the top 10 lines of movie history: "I met a guy. He's fictional, but you can't have everything."

And while we're on the subject of unforgettable lines, let's throw in On the Waterfront (1954) for good measure. This is one cinematic classic that is not to be missed. Watch Marlon Brando fight the good fight to unionize against corruption; watch Eva Marie Saint play his angelic blonde love interest; watch the "I could have been a contender" scene again and again. And again.

Speaking of classics, don't forget to suggest Rob Reiner's timeless high school epic, American Graffiti (1973). Starring the scrawny young Richard Dreyfus and the even scrawnier young Ron Howard (and with a cameo by not-so-scrawny Harrison Ford), this film traces the stories of several groups of teenagers as they cruise the strip until dawn on their last night of high school, 1962. Destined to become a prototype from the second it was released, this may be the finest high school movie ever made.

But perhaps you are looking for something a little more recent. If you have missed any of the following flicks of the past two years, be sure to give them a rent: Fargo (1996), Joel and Ethan Coen's macabre Minnesota murder mystery starring the charmingly deadpan and painfully pregnant Frances McDormand; Lone Star (1996), John Sayles's carefully woven saga of race, family, and the past, set in contemporary Texas; or the laugh-out-loud Swingers (1996). Please, if you haven't seen this cutting-edge critique of dating's pitfalls, do yourself a favor. It is just so money.

And so are you, if you bring along this list. If your high school friend isn't satisfied with any of these picks, then maybe you two shouldn't be hanging out in the first place.

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