Berkeley

Our hockey team, featuring Hartman, Andrew "Look at this sock" Matzkin '02, Drew "Magical Truth-Speaking One" Faehnle '00, and Regina "I'm so hot the ice melts" Sieber '02, has been taking out the trash on a weekly basis. Captain Wil Becton '00 is quite proud of them and takes them out for milk and cookies after every game.

The women's hoops team has been led by Gina Constantine '01, Liz Oosterhuis '02, and small forward Lauren "The Kick-Ass Freshwoman" Dick '03. These fly ladies can't be stopped. If that wasn't enough, Rachel Blitzer '02 has been sinking threes like they were pretty boy movie stars, and Elizabeth Collister '02 has been so sweet on the court she should be kept away from diabetics.

There's only one thing I can say about men's choops (a.k.a. C-hoops): just stay out of their way. "Big" Brian Johnson '01 scored 20 out of 32 points in one victory. Jack "Firm and Supple" Rubin '02 dribbles circles around all the fools on the court. Greg "He's so masculine" Emerson '00 is the team captain. 'Nuff said.

(Compiled by someone who feels that wrestling is rejected by snobs who refuse to go culture-slumming, Howard Han, and Regina Sieber.)

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