Branford

The Branford women's basketball team is mowing down their opposition—ESPN has already put them on their list of the greatest teams of the 21st century. The consistently strong play of Erin McGrath '01 and Jennifer "Gonna school all y'all wo"Mendoza '01 should lead us to Tyng glory.

While the Branford men's basketball results have been more mixed, the dominating inside rebounding of "Big Red" Matt Lewis '03 on the A-hoops squad and the high post presence of B-hoopster Robert Quandt"Um Leap" '02 lead us to expect big things from these teams this season.

Coed water polo is off to a fast start. The team has gotten quality efforts from "I wish that I had" Jesse"'s girl" Gearhart '02 and Mike "Sam I" Ambinder '02, and looks to do more damage in the pool. Branford hockey has also played well. "Canada" Pete Walker '03 has been pretty dominating, no? And don't forget about that other force on the ice, Joe Doctor "Dre" '02.

The BR kingpins crushed Morse and Berkeley in the first week of competition, thanks to the ambidextrous play of Re-"I'm a"-gina "in a bottle" Fitzpatrick '01, and the newly discovered talent of John "The Project" Foster-Keddie '00, whose scores jump around like House of Pain.

Welcome to the jungle, Yale. You're gonna die. In fact, you're gonna die twice.

(Compiled by a long-suffering Houston Oilers fan who doesn't understand why his team continues to refer to itself as the "Tennessee Titans.")

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