Calhoun

With five seniors graduating from last year's championship men's volleyball squad, we knew that we'd have a lot of rebuilding to do this winter. But after struggling through our first few games, the team's collective ass is finally starting to get in gear, much as the novice Hustler reader eventually figures out how to cut the crap and skip right to the pictures.

Led by team sensation Josh "I put the hustle in Hustler" Kriegman '02 and rookie setter Mickey Webber '03, the team is ready to prove that its 1-5 record is, in fact, a fluke. Also helping to revive the 'Houn are Sean "I like the letters" Marlaire '00, Brian "Having pictures of nude" Carp "would probably qualify only as animal pornography" '01, Josh "Thomas" Lobert '03, Ben "I really like" Klay "figurines" '03, and Shawn "Subscriber since 1984" Fields '03.

Flynt noted that Nazi Germany's notorious book-burning started with pornography before proceeding to Shakespeare and the classics. Perhaps he should contact English scholar and squash star Blakey "I teach you kids English and how to get whooped" Vermeule about that point. Calhoun's troop of mostly converted tennis players has streaked to a 3-0 record so far.

Larry would surely approve of Calhoun's squash squad, especially considering that they're most definitely not a bunch of what he called "radical feminists" leading a "bunch of ugly women together to march." Of course, extended metaphors can only be taken so far. So watch out for Calhoun IMs.

(Compiled by Mr. Mime.)

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