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Smack Zone
Chepiga
O Captain, My Captain! How am I going to win Smack without you? A setback, yes, but I still have faith in gymnastics ($1,015). The men's and women's b-ball teams will win all four of their games ($500 each). Hockey will win twice ($250 each), and the East drubs the living crap out of the West ($700). I may still not be a playa, but I do crush a lot—and so in honor of Big Pun I'm gonna smack everyone's ass this week. Because, let's face it, Laurie, Kate, (and Carl) are just hatas, the loser bitches in the chorus that sing, "You nasty, Pun." Well, I don't care. 'Round here they call me Big Pun, I'll hit you with the big guns... Last Week:-$2,400. Current Balance: $6,332.
Moran
Ah, Valentine's Day—the only time of the year when love flows freely in Smack and Chepiga isn't embarrassed about wearing his pink underwear. As the red-headed Romeo spreads his love around the entire Herald editorial board, I'll send my love out to the Knicks as they take Toronto and Minnesota ($1,000 each). East leaves West loveless after a one-night stand on Sunday ($1,000), while women's basketball kicks ass all along the East Coast with wins over Cornell and Columbia ($800 each). And 100 bucks says that Randell sends half her Herald valentines to herself. Last Week: -$800. Current Balance: $8,470.
Randell
The countdown is almost over—two days until pitchers and catchers report. Come back to me, baseball, I've missed you so. I've been forced to watch the NBA to get my sports fix. Now that I'm winning Smack again, I can settle in to smacking Chepiga and Moron around. Men's b-ball takes two against Cornell and Columbia ($800 each), while hockey splits over the weekend ($400). Men's track kicks Harvard's ass so hard that they finally realize how much they suck ($1,500). UConn hoops bounces back and actually wins for once, taking down Notre Dame ($1,200). Last Week: +$2,300. Current Balance: $8,600.
Carl Bialik, Guest
When you're up against guys who bet on the X-Games and call the gymnastics team a cow, it's best not to make fun. So I'll reminisce about the glory days of Herald sports, when men were men (except for Nola). In those days, it would have been dumb to predict a sweep by men's basketball ($1,500 each). But even then a bet on the powerhouse that is JE IMs was a good one: C-hoops over BK ($1,500) and water polo finally wins one ($100). Finally, gymnastics proves to be more of a swan than a cow, topping MIT ($1,000). Last Week: -$250. Current Balance: $6,090.
Carl Bialik, JE '01, won Pick the Pros this week. To be Smack Guest, play Pick the Pros at www.yaleherald.com/pickthepros.
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