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Smack Zone
Chepiga
I smell something big. Do you smell it? Could it be big-time sour grapes from Kate, or is it already that time of the month when she tries to hook up with every big guy in sight? Or, maybe it's just Laurie's big need for some play. Men's b-ball, women's b-ball, and men's hockey all beat the Big Green. ($750 each). In the Big East, Syracuse beats the Johnnies ($500), and Notre Dame beats Seton Hall ($400). JE will be big too, beating Pierson in A hoops ($300). But no one is as big as yours truly, and that's a fact. Last Week: +$1,315. Current Balance: $12,247.
Moran
If the Herald purity test is any indication, the only thing around here that's filthier than Randell is a certain A&E editor whose name rhymes with "fat bitch." Chepiga, on the other hand, is embarassingly pure, but at least he'll be getting more than Reggie Miller this weekend as the Knicks hold him to 10 points ($300) and take home a win ($1,000). Yale hoops will also get lucky, as both the men and the women sweep Harvard and Dartmouth ($1,000 each). Dartmouth will take another hit as men's hockey also comes home victorious ($400). In pro hockey action, the Islanders will be easier than Chepiga's girlfriend, and the Devils will take 'em by at least two ($700). Last Week: +$500 Current Balance:$8,970
Randell
Okay, Smack has degenerated to Joey Ax levels. The only other thing that can go down that low is Moron on a weekend. If I count as "impure," Moron, how skanky does that make you? Lewinsky level? And as for your Slick Willy, Chepiga ain't exactly an angel—the "I hooked up with a JE redhead" support group is overflowing. Still, since my Smack balance is falling as fast as Moron for a hot jock, I might as well stop making legitimate bets and take some easy money. $900 for each men's b-ball win this weekend, Knicks take down the Pacers ($1,100), and Michigan over Penn State ($700). Last Week: -$1,100. Current Balance: $7,500.
Sam Wiseman, Guest
This week, the Lone Star State will dominate the rest of the country. San Antonio will whip Phoenix, and the Mavs, led by Dirk "the NBA's best German" Nowitski, will get past the Pacers ($750 each). To complete the trifecta, the Rockets will play like they're young again and upset Charlotte ($500). It's too bad for me I didn't wait to win until next week, when UT shows Kansas' Luke Axtell just how wrong he was to transfer. Oh well. In the meantime, they'll warm up by beating Iowa State ($1,500). Finally, the Texan-led Yale Croquet team will narrowly defeat obscurity ($2). Last Week: +$2,600. Current Balance: $8,690.
Sam Wiseman, PC '03, won Pick the Pros this week. To be Smack Guest, play Pick the Pros at www.yaleherald.com/pickthepros.
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