Calhoun

"Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him."

While the true meaning of this passage has apparently eluded scholars for millennia, it clearly pays homage to Calhoun's Holy Rollers. For those of you without much understanding of biblical meanings, allow me to let you in on what's going on here: "Whoso" refers to Calhoun's opponents, who "diggeth" themselves a "pit," first by electing to challenge us, then by failing to keep pace with the rising tide of Calhoun's score.

The second part refers to the miracle of the ball return, which rearms Calhoun with such regularity as to ensure the team's numbingly relentless victories.

Not enough credit can go to those who remember the past, but an equal amount must go to a new generation of Holy Rollers. "A good" Alex Kass '03 "Is hard to find (Pittsburgh)," "You can look (but you better not touch)" Angela Strom-We- ber '03 and "Incident on" Tony Cotto '03 "Street" have infused the team with new life while a grizzled veteran known only as "Some Brimstone Baritone Anti-Cyclone Rolling Stone Preacher from the East" has kept it all together.

It seems merriment is enjoyed by all Calhoun bowlers in 2000—almost divine, don't you think?

(Compiled by a Calhoun IM secretary who clearly has a better understanding of the Boss than the Book.)

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