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Smack Zone
Chepiga
Spring is in the air—and so are Kate's legs. I've heard she can wrap them around her ears. Too bad she's losing so much money. Maybe after Nat's done paying for Adam's services, he can employ Ms. Moran. (If he's up for a change...) Looks like Laurie used spring break productively—brewskies with Brooksie in a ski chalet in Aspen. Who knew she had a thing for hot tubs? At the Tourney, Wisconsin, Michigan St., Duke, and Miami make it to the Final Four ($500 each). Hey, look at that—four colleges that Moran has "hit" in the last six months. No wonder they're feeling lucky. Yale baseball sweeps Sacred Heart ($500) and American Beauty wins Best Picture ($350). Last Week: -$1,300. Current Balance: $5,347.
Moran
There's something rotten in Smack, and I think it's our guest
Adam Wells, a nasty, dirty, obscene, indecent, depraved, filthy bastard
who tells lies about sports editors he's never even met. Whew, that was
a mouthful. But from what Wells has said, so is his roomate, Nat Rich. I
realize that my balance is as pathetic as Randell's sex life, but so
is her boyfriend. I'll get my cash up into the, uh, quadruple digits by
saying that the Knicks will blow more games this road trip than I blow
guys ($10,000). Last Week: -$1,300. Current Balance: $570.
Randell
Well, well, look who's in the lead and who's choking like Neil
Reed. Chepiga should learn not to bet on college hoops—he gambles
as badly as he plays. $50 says that JE moves up in the standings now that
he isn't stinking up the court. And Moran, just because you know
basketball players doesn't mean you know jack shit. Duke takes Florida
to the cleaners ($600), meetin' and beatin' Okey State ($500 each)
to get to the Final Four. The Spartans make it to Indianapolis ($600),
behind 20 points from Peterson. I may not be winnin' $10 million, but I
can still smoke da other Smack bitches. Last Week: +$2,350. Current
Balance: $10,550.
Adam Wells, Guest
Sure, I'm the new guy, but I was picking the winners when Chepiga was still soiling his Superwoman undies. I'll admit that I've given up on my tourney picks, but the only thing getting filled out and discarded faster than this year's NCAA brackets is Moran in CC 440. Nat Rich and I didn't even break a sweat—and the same could be said about the Trailblazers after they handle the Knicks on Sunday ($1,000). Also, Seton Hall completes an OT-upset turkey ($600), the Mets leave Henderson behind in Japan after taking a pair from the Cubs ($400), and those who miss CC 440's Saturday Night Social cry into their big, fat pillows ($9). Oh, and a CC 440er writes the guest spot again next week ($60). Last Week: -$1,605. Current Balance: $3,073.
Adam Wells, CC '02, won Pick the Pros this week. To be Smack Guest, play Pick the Pros at www.yaleherald.com/pickthepros.
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