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Smack Zone
Chepiga
Smack goes to Blue Devil. As the lights go down, it turns out Laurie is blue, Kate's the devil, and Lichtig is the extra picking his nose in the Saybrook dining hall. Kate offers Laurie an A in Orgo in return for sexual favors. Lichtig smiles and asks to watch, while picking his nose (Mickelson wins at Augusta, Yankees take two of three, Knicks beat the Heat and Pacers, Lakers top the Spurs—$400 each). The movie has a happy ending; Laurie is still blue (if she were green, she would die), Kate stutters no more, um, yeah. But Lichtig is left in the theater by himself, watching the credits, still picking his nose. Last Week: -$1,100. Current Balance: $5,097.Moran
Hi, my name is Geoff Chepiga. It's a beautiful day in the
neighborhood, oh won't you be my neighbor? I like grilled cheese and
OPP. I like sissy bets and sissy boys. I like Nat Rich becauthe he hath a
lithp. I like Aaron Lichtig because he's bad in bed but at least he tries
hard. And he does my laundry. The only people I don't like are Anky and
Andrew, which is why my paper will score 10 more points than theirs in
the Herald-YDN basketball showdown ($1,000). $400 more
says that Sam "BJ" Frank gets confused and scores for the
other team. Last Week: +$0. Current Balance: $10,570.
Randell
I'm back on top again, ready to slap down anyone who dares
challenge me. Too bad Moron's bets are as pitiful as she is—old,
overused, and sagging. Speaking of sagging, from what I hear, Chepiga,
you might want to get that looked at. Unless you're Bob Dole, that's just
not normal. The Mets will revert to normal, taking the series against
the Dodgers ($700). The Cubs will snap out of their funk and win the
series ($500) behind a Sosa homer on Saturday ($400). Pedro is da man
yet again, almost wrapping up the Cy Young with at least 10 strikeouts
($400). Last Week: +$2,700. Current Balance: $12,750.
Aaron Lichtig Guest
I'm back and better than ever. Or at least better than I was last semester because I can't get any worse. Kate, put that flute away. I'm trying not to throw up here. At any rate, since I know nothing about professional sports, I'll take the Dodgers in a sweep over the Mets ($500). Unfortunately, I know a lot about one "thing," and that's Chepiga's girlfriend. I'll put down $1,000 on Tiger winning the Masters and another $1,000 that both Kate and Laurie call me "Tiger" on Saturday night. And while I'm supposedly acting in Blue Devil, Red will be acting in his own flick, Get Shorty, starring Chepiga, two midgets (Ax and Altschuler), and three infamous bishops. Last Week: +$600. Current Balance: $3,673.
Aaron Lichtig, JE '02, Managing Editor of the Herald, won Pick the Pros this week. Play Pick the Pros at www.yaleherald.com/pickthepros.
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