Timothy Dwight

The years of fighting have worn heavily upon our old generals, who now slip into retirement. Soccer will miss our senior threesome of Greg "So strong I have to be made out of" Tigani "um", Rohit "'Em where it hurts" Malik, and Adrian Nivola. The leadership of seniors Bobby Winslow, Steve "Faster than a speeding" Salmon, Justin "JoFlo" Florence, Andrew "I got hurt but now I'm" Heald, and "I'll K" Ilya Kushnirsky will be sorely missed. Seniors Emily "the Enforcer" Johnson, Karen Westen, Leah Dunay, "Lethal" Lily Morgan, "Sizzling" Sarah Chamberlin, Danica "I ain't no cheerleader" Liberman, Devondra "El Capitan" McMillan, Mary "Pat" Mahnensmith, and Bonnie "I can parallel" Park will also receive honorable discharges. Perhaps the Red Army could recover from even these devastating departures, but it will surely never be the same without seniors Merrill Dobson, Courtney Noble, and Gates Hurand, who have led the Lion Warriors for so long. Each one is Hall of Fame caliber—if they had numbers, we would retire them.

Although the Soldiers of the Lion have lost experienced leaders, future success is far from unlikely. In fact, thanks to our superb officer-training program, the outlook is very bright. Freshmen Ross "No thanks, I've just" Eaton, Aaron Gruber, Jeremy Hogan, Abi Sud, Sara Froikin, Jess Cohen, Marti "The Intimidator" Morgan, Nicole Thompson, Chandra King, Jen Gold, and Danielle "I could go for a 40 oz. of St." Ives all show great promise. Certainly, the fate of TD is in good hands, and the Red Army is destined to return to the top. Ashé.

(Compiled by Verg, or Vergasy if you're not into the whole brevity thing.)

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