Calhoun

Dear Dr. Sledge,

In response to the strong demand from our readers, we are interested in doing a three-page spread on your C-hoops team. The ladies just love the way those Calhoun boys manhandle and bounce their big balls, not to mention the skill with which they put it in the hole. Such players as John "No not the regulars, I use" Magnuson '00, Clark "I've done it on sea, air and" Landry '99, and Chris "I ain't never been wh" Ip "ped" '98. I know from personal experience that Matt "Keeps the women saying Morgad "ohhhh" '98 and Chris Elco "-ine keeps on going and going like the Energizer Bunny" '98 even in the dining hall. The refs might not like how Andy "Is so touchy" Healy '98 or that Lemuel "has a habit of spending more than three seconds in the box before he's" Gonzalez '98, but we sure do!

They also have such interesting stories to tell. Their point guard said to me, Ivan "into a cute girl who put me in the mood for some nan" Yi '99, studs Chizz "Whiz" Chikwendu '01, and Dan Fleschner '01. Please contact me as soon as possible so we can begin shooting on location in Calhoun.

-The Editors of Playgirl Magazine

(Compiled by three sexually repressed, dateless-to-the-Winter-Ball seniors who long for the return of G.L.O.W.)

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