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BerkeleyThe El Niño that is Berkeley intramurals rolled into second place last week. Calhoun felt our mighty wrath, and soon Saybrook will as well. "But wait," you say, "Isn't BK still pretty far behind?" The answer to that question is simple: it's kind of like that scene in The Shining when that weird kid goes nuts and writes "REDRUM" on the mirror, and you know that Jack's gonna hit Shelley Duvall. There's nothing she can do about it. The elevator doors open, and all that blood comes out, only it's not the elevator in the Overlook Hotel, but the one on the fourth floor of PWG. And it's not really blood coming out, but an army of BK men's squash players led by Andrew Gurman"ator" '98, and Shelley Duvall is just a metaphor for Saybrook."Well," you may say, "Shelley Duvall gets away in the movie." This is true. But it's like in the Olympics when right in the beginning, some insignificant country like Luxembourg gets a bronze medal and Team USA doesn't have any yet, and Luxembourg thinks it's pretty damn cool until figure skating starts and the U.S. gets a ton of medals and flattens all the insignificant countries so that they don't know what hit them. Get it? Saybrook's like Luxembourg. I'd say that's an appropriate metaphor for Gina "I'm better than you" Constantine '00 scoring 25 points at a recent basketball game, or "Mau" Mao-Mei Liu '99 leading our water polo team to a 4-0 record. Or "ne"Andy"rthal" Morris '99 scoring seven goals in the last two weeks in hockey. Look out, Saybrook. We have always been the caretakers here.
(Compiled by a frequent user of the hearing aid excuse.)
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