Pierson

The women's basketball team is an Olympic-caliber squad. After squeaking by Berkeley 35-33 in a hard-fought contest, the team is looking forward to the championship game next week. The ladies boast a strong lineup, with well-balanced point-scoring. Captain Shannan "Don't Be Shocked by My Crossover" Smith '98, Cory "Steal Queen" Nakata '99, and Hope "Higgity" Tryon '00 are only a few names comprising a well-rounded, hard-working squad.

Inner tube water polo has transformed a mediocre season into a stellar success. With a 6-4 record, the team has overcome mind-numbing adversities on its way back to a winning record. Clara "Killer" Soh '99 presently holds MVP honors. In a victory over TD on Monday, Soh brought the Payne roof down with an electrifying breakaway goal, her first ever as a water polo player/killer. Two minutes later, she dislocated her shoulder and was forced to leave the game. She was heard screaming (in Italian) "Never say die, dear Pierson" in semi-conscious agony as she left for DUH. This season is dedicated to her shoulder.

After the poor performance of the U.S. men's hockey team in Nagano, Pierson rightfully asserts its status as the premier hockey team in America. The team has avenged early season losses to register a 6-4 record.

Yet again, Pierson athletes have proved to be Masters of the IM Universe. The men's volleyball team needs no superfluous commentary, as they won shirts for the second straight year with an undefeated record.

(Compiled by The Funk Man in the Iron Mask.)

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