Ivy League Notebook, Yale Index

Ivy League Notebook

Best business school in the country? Apparently the power-suit wearing, fast-talking, business-lunching, and anti-ethics courses offered at the Wharton School of Finance have not been enough to keep Pennsylvania out of the red in 1998. In the first months of this year, the university has lost $40 million on investments. Only a large return on investments last December gave Pennsylvania a slight positive edge for university investments over the last six months.

The Board of Trustees announced that "unfavorable market conditions" are responsible for the loss. The university claimed "it is difficult to pinpoint the cause of the $40 million loss," but a good deal of Penn-sylvania's stocks have fallen in the last few months. The economic crisis in Asia is also blamed for the investment deficit. Whatever the reason might have been, the message is clear: a school dedicated to making money cannot make money. How sad.

Cornell

At a forum held last week, the forgotten residents of Ithaca had something new to complain about to the university. In addition to the problem of pre-meds in their drinking water, local residents also have to deal with students damaging their property during the annual Senior Block parties. This issue was most manifest last May when police were forced to don riot gear and arrest drunken students on the streets of Collegetown during a Senior Week fete. Residents used the forum to voice their concerns about such activities to the administration.

Although no concrete decisions were made, the forum was a positive experience, showing that students and residents can work together to find "grounds for compromise." Cornell students realized there are other (albeit stupid) people who share their cold fate in the middle of New York. Residents also came to the understanding that they should treat Cornell like the rest of the Ivy League--by ignoring it. These new insights will make Cornell a happier place for all (except, of course, pre-meds).

--Compiled by Mike Buckstein from the Daily Pennsylvanian and the Cornell Daily Sun

YALE INDEX
1. Number of Sports Illustrated 1998 Swimsuit Issue cover girls who "straddled the equator"	1
2. Number of swimsuits modeled in the Swimsuit Issue	72
3. Number of said suits which will ever be worn by normal women	0
4. Number of one-piece bathing suits featured in the issue	26
5. Number of those which were originally intended to be one-piece	15
6. Number of Daniela Pestovas one would have to lay head-to-toe to reach around the equator, according to the Swimsuit Issue	22,554,194
7. Number of Sports Illustrated 1998 Swimsuit Issue readers who find this fact the least bit useful	0
8. Number of Sports Illustrated readers who would lay Daniela Pestova head-to-toe nonetheless	3.2 million
9. Number of Silliman freshmen who would lay Daniela Pestova head-to-toe, as long as she didn't pick up a guitar and start singing her damn "women songs"	1
10. Number of letters Sports Illustrated can be expected to receive from said freshmen lamenting the fact that neither Brett Favre nor John Elway made "special appearances" in the 1998 Swimsuit Issue	1
11. Number of males who bought the Swimsuit Issue despite the conspicuous absence of both Favre and Elway, traditional male role models	3.2 million

--Compiled by Kevin Irwin and Jeremy Rissi

Sources: 1, 3, 5, 6, 7)Sports Illustrated Special Issue Winter 1998; 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11) B.U.G. polling services

LIZ OLINER/YH MR. BLUE: Actor Harvey Keitel discussed his career in film at an unadvertised Branford College Master's Tea on Tues., Feb. 24.

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