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Ezra StilesUndefeated, undefeated, undefeated, undefeated. We came so close to presenting a paragraph consisting solely of the word undefeated in honor of Stiles women's hoops, but we figured you wouldn't appreciate it. Also, my F-key is stuck so I have to press it really hard and that would get annoying after a while. Then we were going to define undefeated in Websters, but we guess it applies to so few teams that the dictionary gods thought including it would simply alienate too many people. Like, for instance, the Trumbull, Calhoun, and JE teams that our ladies clobbered in the past week and a half. And, for example, the rest of you, whom they'll trounce in the next few weeks. Undefeated. Mm-mm good. Speaking of undefeated, the bowling team isn't. But they should be! If they had continued the domination they displayed in their combined-score 667 game on opening day, right now they would be looking down from the top of the bowling Tyng at the rest of you fortunate peons--fortunate only because the team had a temporary lapse on Friday, due to a few too many greasy onion rings (or something, maybe it was the wind). But back to that 667 game. We smeared Morse's lipstick all over their faces. We lapped a sorry D-port squad. They were quivering little bunnies and we were big old bears batting them around with our paws. Cam "Big daddy Mac" Dougall '98, who rocked the lanes with a 210 and Dave "Berco" vich '99, who nailed a 229, we salute you.
(Compiled by a Tauntaun and the motivational speaker who lives in a van down by the river.)
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