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Jonathan EdwardsWell, unfortunately, my grand predictions of JE greatness in the last article were slightly off the mark. In the interest of keeping this article positive, let's first reflect upon JE's pros before I blast the pathetic inhabitants of JE who have no athletic ability whatsoever. As a second-year resident of JE, I am proud of its cozy courtyard and its cohesive family-like atmosphere. I can honestly say that I feel like a part of JE and I know most people living there. JE has a great weight room and a great weight room manager (yours truly). JE also has a very good location on campus. But none of this has anything to do with JE's IM program. When you're the IM secretary of a college that has lost more games in one week than it's won the whole season, it gets pretty depressing. In perhaps unprecedented form, JE has not won a game in five out of the 10 winter sports. The only bright spots have been the men's A-hoops team, which is 6-1, and the women's hoops team, which is 2-1. Despite all this bad news for JE IMs, the secretaries have a plan to turn it all around. Free T-shirts. That's right. Any and all who show up for a requisite number of games will get free T-shirts. Girls? They just have to show up twice. Fellow JE athletes who may be reading this, I pray that you have some college spirit. We could really use some jock support.
(Compiled by a man who once got drunk on a flask of rum during an architecture class.)
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