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And you thought Castro was only a great dictator. A study has just been released asserting that Cubans are the "most passionate and gifted lovers" in all the world. Not surprisingly, these results were released by Cubans. The study was one of several that appeared last month in the official weekly, Juventud Rebelde (roughly translated as The Journal of Male Ego and Other Forms of Self-Aggrandizement).

Cubans across the country were ecstatic about their new self-appointment as the world's best lovers. "We're the best," a 44-year-old taxi driver proudly told the weekly. "Not for nothing are we known as superlovers." (For the record, the term `superlovers' never appeared in the official study). A poll of 300 Cubans conducted by the University of Havana also confirmed that Cubans think of themselves as more passionate than inhabitants of the rest of the world.

So what's the take-home message? Don't forget to get your Cuban spayed or neutered.

...And England's Sloppy Drunks

Monty Python scripts just write themselves, don't they? A "love-lorn" man in England tumbled 30 meters from a bridge after reaching for a beer and missing. The man, who fortunately survived the incident, had been talked down off the bridge by police just minutes before he was going to "fall off it accidently." He was suicidal after recently breaking up with his girlfriend.

Officers had spent hours trying to talk the man out of committing suicide. No one would disagree that after the man came down it was Milller Genuine Draft time. But the man was just too hasty in his desire for mind-numbing intoxication; he missed and went plummeting into the freezing river. Worst of all, "He did not even manage to get his beer," the Mirror Tabloid Daily reported. Sunderland police all agreed that the man is "lucky to be alive."

In all fairness, we cannot be too critical. We would (or have) done the same for our beer.

--Compiled by Mike Buckstein

from The Arab News and

The Jordan Times

YALE INDEX
1. Percentage of Americans who know where Nagano is	19.98
2. Percentage of Americans who know where Lake Placid is	19.80
3. Percentage of Americans who have confused your mom with Lake Placid	19.69
4. Last time U.S. men's hockey won a medal at the Olympics	1980
5. Only time U.S. men's hockey failed to win a game at the Olympics	1994
6. Last time Yale men's hockey head coach Tim Taylor coached the U.S. Olympic men's hockey team	1994
7. Capacity of The Whale (Ingalls Rink)	3,486
8. Number of spectators who will watch the Colgate showdown this weekend	3,486
9. Percentage of Yalies who think that Colgate is that latest Clinton scandal	34.86
10. Capacity of the Yale Bowl	64,269
11. Last time the Yale Bowl was filled to capacity	1983
12. Lillehammer? I hardly even know her!!	1994

--Compiled by Kevin Irwin and Jeremy Rissi

Sources: 1,2,3,9,12) b.U.B. polling services; 4) World Almanac; 5,6) Boston Globe 1/14/98; 7,8,10,11) Yale Sports Information Service

LIZ OLINER/YH WORK IN PROGRESS: It might not be swingin' quite yet, but the new dorm next to Paine Whitney Gymnasium is beginning to take shape.

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