Berkeley

So, how was your break? Good? I know how it was. You sat on your ass, watched lots of Oprah, and scarfed down lots of food. Nine of 12 of our winter teams had winning records, and we don't even have Celine singing our theme song. This spring, it'll be 12 of 12, unless they keep on serving these Eli breakfast sandwiches for lunch in the dining hall.

Our softball team is fabulous. After winning it all last year, we're even better this year. On opening day, we beat TD 8-6, but it really wasn't that close. It should have been 20-0. Ted Shatz '98 is stunning. He began the season with two home runs on check-swings, but saw his slugging percentage plummet to 3.667 when he could only manage a triple in the fifth inning.

Give me Greg Emerson '00, Jordan El-ias '98, and Chris Pierce '01 any day anywhere against anyone. And then there's Tom Falco. You want pure magnificence? Falco worked the inside corner brilliantly, holding TD to just three earned runs over five innings. Sarah Overfield '99, Barrie Koegel '99, Jenny Bottomly '99, Corey Smith '99, Benny Yang '01, Jay Hwang '99, Wes Warren '99 (what exactly is it that you listen to on that thing?), and Ethan "Trigger" Fingerman '98, all know their roles, and oh, do they play them beautifully.

They say that we're looking ahead to next year with the Swing Space, all those indoor training facilities, free cable and $200 of Flex even when we're on the full meal plan. We're not looking ahead. No way. Just ask the softball team.

(Compiled by a survivor of the Titanic. Fifteen seconds of silence for her, please.)

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