Timothy Dwight

Timothy Dwight opened the spring season with a bursting torrent of ripe, pulsing Ashé. Tyrone "All we are is spikes in the wind" Phelipa '00 led a courageous performance by the TD volleyball juggernaut, with Merrill "With this headband on, I am stronger, faster, higher" Dobson '00 and Tania "Pelican" Brief '98, with Gates Hurand '00 present.

Softball turned in a stirring rendition of The Natural, with Bobby "Griffey Junior" Winslow '00 leading the troops. The troops consist of Steven "Walt Weiss makes a diving catch and throws out the runner--no, that's Steve" Licht '98, Leah "Hank Aaron" Dunay '00, Jaime "Nolan Ryan" Vanvleet '01, Tania "I have two nicknames?" Brief '98, Merrill "TWO nicknames?" Dobson '00, Mike "crophone check one two what is this the five foot assassin with the roughneck business" Ferguson '98, Gates "Runs like Hayes, hits like shit" Hurand '00, Dan "I got Knick blood running in these veins" Davis '99, Dan "Sweet Pea" Murphy '98, and Brian "Better tell their outfielders to move back" Kane '00. Joe Walland '00 threatens to throw a season-long no-hitter. We, the raging animals crying Ashé, ravage the fearful enemy, leaving nothing but blood and messed grass in our relentless path.

(Compiled by someone who will submit four hours earlier two weeks from now.)

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