Berkeley

Although he loved his animal family, the young man faced a crisis of conscience as the years passed. While he could remember nothing of life outside the forest, the boy knew that there was more to the world than his daily rituals of hunting down helpless animals and mercilessly killing them for food. He could sense that the civilization he had never known awaited him.

At age 18, our hero was rescued from his sheltered world and brought to Yale. Unfortunately for the other 11 residential colleges, Andrew Wolf Gurman '98 was put in Berkeley. If there was one thing that the wolves taught Gurman, it was how to raise an IM program from the basement to powerhouse status.

Now, four short years after his arrival, Gurman is ready to leave. But Berkeley shall not let him go gently into that good night. The Wolf deserves a taste of Tyng. And when Berkeley hoists that famous Cup in its ramshackle common room, Gurman's deep emotional scars from childhood might be forgotten. Years of psychoanalysis and therapy will be spared. We owe him that.

Berkeleyites, we must do our part to fulfill the prophecy as it is written: "And you shall help the man from the woods bring glory to your kingdom." And when we do, we all will--for the first time in four years--sleep without guilt or fear.

And as it is written: "The Lord loved Berkeley so much that he gave it his only Andrew Gurman" (John 3:15). Amen.

(Compiled by a Berkeleyite preparing "to make new friendships.")

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