Smack Zone

Bialik
As Person, Title once said, "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing." Thus the Mets have been left thingless, and I've been left to root for the evil Yankees. I still won't bet on them, though; that would be like betting on the WWF. I'll leave that to more gutless editors who will go nameless. Instead, my money is on the Astros to eliminate the Padres ($2,000). Meanwhile, slumpin' Sammy won't homer again before his team is done ($1,000). On the Yale front, volleyball will win the Hartford Classic ($1,500), and football will bounce back with a win against Colgate ($200). Last Week: +$1,000. Current Balance: $11,500.

Breglio
Last week, if I do say so myself, was a glorious one for me. In fact it was flawless, despite a really stupid-looking picture in the YDN. I vaulted myself into the upper echelon of Smack, and C.B., you'd better welcome me, 'cause I'm here to stay. Speaking of perfection, first things first--give me the Yanks in no more than four ($3,000), and for $500 each, I'll take the Sox, 'Stros, and Braves as division series winners. By the way, how good is Shane Spencer? As for the erstwhile Elis, give me field hockey over the Tigers for $500. I'll put volleyball in the top three at the Hartford Invitational ($500), and women's golf will win at Mt. Holyoke ($500). Last Week: +$5,000.50. Current Balance: $9,260.

Goldenberg
And here's where the actual Goldenberg Smack Zone goes. Keep it short, please. And be creative when writing it! It's useless just to restate what's obviously going to happen (Yanks, $2,000). Also, the Braves will ride their bullpen to the ALCS in a sweep ($1,000). Try to add something to what we see. Don't just bet on givens like men's soccer beating Quinnipiac on Oct. 7 ($500), or football beating Colgate ($500). Get some variety in there--mention Alabama's comeback victory over Florida ($50). Last week: +$1,400. Current Balance: $5,250.

John Merriman, Guest
First, let me explain that you are dealing with a broken man, still reeling from having flown out to South Bend and having had to watch my mighty Michigan Wolverines get beat by a mediocre Notre Dame team. I would never think of betting real money on Michigan--for me, it would be the sports equivalent of betting on the Allies in World War II. UM is 35-8-4 over Iowa in the history of their rivalry, and when was the last time Iowa, a team I like, won a big game? I'll take UM for $500. I like Ohio State (though not generally!) to beat up on Penn State for $1,000. USC will bounce back against Arizona State ($500), and the Florida Gators will run it up against reeling Alabama by more than 16 ($500). Last Week: -$849. Current Balance: $9,501.

John Merriman is a professor of history.

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