Trumbull

As I entered, I heard eerie music coming from somewhere in the back, and I found unbelievably tacky decorations adorning the walls. In the corner, there was a pretty legit-looking old hag. She motioned to me to join her and introduced herself as Madame Zelda. It was at that point that I noticed that she was missing four front teeth and had a wart the size of TD's ego on the tip of her nose.

I only had enough money for one question, rather than the 20 that were advertised. I decided to ask, "Why did TC drop to ninth place in IMs?"

As she began to answer, the room started to shake and a breeze swept through the room. Madame Zelda began to shake, and then in a soft voice, she began, "Trumbull, an awful curse has been put on you by Berkeley. They were aggravated by their own slip in the standings and angered that you revealed in the Trumbulletin that they were in fact the suckiest college at Yale. Their resident voodoo expert, Steve Fishbach BK '00 has jinxed all of your athletes and has created a huge mixup amongst the IM secretaries, making them unintentionally forfeit many football games.

In fact, Steve even managed to control the mind of one secretary in order to have her tell the men's football captain that the team was dead so that they wouldn't show up to games. He sent e-mail messages to another secretary to tell her that the Morse coed football team was dead and to have Trumbull stop bringing out a team, and he even managed to rig it so that the Trumbull cross country racers who showed up for the championships were told not to run by some mysterious entity out at the field."

This was all very interesting, but my stomach was starting to speak in tongues louder than Madame Zelda, twisting and turning everywhere, so I knew I had to get to Mom's before I could hear about the rest of the season. I figured I could pick up a copy of this week's Trumbulletin, which I hear has a stellar account of the men's soccer team's completion of their second consecutive undefeated season, and that I would just have to wait until the winter to hear about how we'll do then.

I thanked Madame Zelda and gave her some advice on a good wart cream, and headed for the door, thus ending a rather surreal experience. Today, I passed by the 20 Questions shop again, and there was an "Out of Business" sign in the window. The whole place looked like it had been cleaned out for weeks, maybe months.

(Compiled by the TrumBULL.)

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