No More Dr. Feelgood for the Crüe

Now flash forward 10 years to last Sunday night at the Oakdale Theater in lovely Wallingford, Conn. The story's a little different. The Crüe is still rocking, but everybody has changed in some imperceptible way. Wait, that's it—they're old! Everyone is old!

Yes, the baddest of the bad boys of '80s rock, Mötley Crüe, with lead singer Vince Neil, bassist Nikki Sixx, guitarist Mick Mars, and fresh-out-of-jail drummer Tommy Lee are out touring following the recent release of their Greatest Hits album.

The Crüe has gotten the hint that no one wants to hear their new stuff (apparently fans failed to appreciate the subtle tapestries of emotion woven beneath the chords of Generation Swine), so their set includes all the classics and features show-opener "Dr. Feelgood," "Girl Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)," "Girls, Girls, Girls," "Kickstart My Heart," and show-closer "Smokin' in the Boys Room."

Still, the Crüe seemed more content basking in the nonstop admiration of the thirtysomething crowd than displaying their rigorous musicianship. Neil spent most of his time stumbling through lyrics, sucking in his enormous Sammy Hagar-proportioned gut, and ogling the girls down in the first three rows. At first I thought Vince was looking at me, but I turned around to see the well-cleavaged young lady who was the actual object of his attention. Heartbroken, I tried to enjoy the rest of the show. Sixx, on the other hand, displayed his deep love for the Crüe faithful by spitting water onto the crowd after every song. Tommy Lee, clearly the fans' favorite, took a quick break from his furious percussion pounding to prance around in his traditional leather loincloth stage gear and give "mad love" to the audience members for their support during his recent incarceration. In contrast with his more exuberant bandmates, Mars seemed content to stand at the side of the stage and be ugly.

Still, it did all come together at times. There was genuine magic in the Oakdale when fans young and old (mostly old) chanted together, "Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout at the Devil!" during the appropriately-titled classic "Shout at the Devil!" The lighters and breasts came out during "Home Sweet Home." And, by adequately spacing the two new tracks from the album, the Crüe gave beer-addled fans well-timed bathroom breaks.

The Crüe even relived their glory days backstage after the show when the only people invited into the dressing room were three young ladies whom the band wanted to "thank for their support." Those of us with actual backstage passes were relegated to watching the Raiders-Seahawks football game in the Dunkin' Donuts-laden green room.

One portly gentleman who had been backstage at the last four shows lamented that he had yet to meet the band. My friends and I didn't have the heart to tell him why. We chose to leave rather than wait for the inevitable "Sorry, the band's `tired' and not coming out tonight, guys."

Nevertheless, it was a great chance for all the Crüe-worshippers to climb back into the leather and remember the days back before they had kids. It was also a great chance for the Crüe to suck the very last drop out of their careers before their eventual and inevitable sad tumble into a Poison-like oblivion.

Related Links: All the Crüe you desire.

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