Calhoun

So when the Stiles players looked across the court at their Calhoun opponents, they were not scared at all. In fact, they were measuring each other's sleeve lengths for submission to the IM office. For purposes of clarity, I will tell you how the story ends before I actually tell you the story. The ending is thus: in a section one night, a Stiles player came up to a Calhoun player and exclaimed, "We're all pretty disappointed that you upset us." Let's get one thing straight, Bullwinkle. If Calhoun had lost, that would have been an upset.

Indeed, there was no upset, thanks to a deciding match win for Calhoun in men's doubles by Jacob "Clutch" Wouden '99 and Hauke "Don't piss me off" Luebben '99. The tandem, trained in the art of the hustle, fell behind 6-2 to their Stiles opponents before tying the match at six. They again trailed 7-6 before winning the next three games to take a 9-7 lead. In what turned out to be the last game of the match, The Wou and Hauke battled through five deuces before finally prevailing 10-7 to give Calhoun its "upset" win.

The doubles matches turned out to be the key to Calhoun's victory as Adam "Hooker with a heart of" Goldfarb '02 and Sarah "I'm better than ATP tour players Byron and Wayne" Black '99 prevailed in mixed doubles. Meanwhile, the intimidating women's doubles team of Julie "I can beat the crap out of" Goran "Ivanisevic" '00 and Jessica "and I can beat the crap out of all y'all" Coifman '00 finished off their undefeated season with a solid victory in the championship.

The singles players did not fare as well, but hey, it's all about making things interesting. So after "My" Sharuna Nagwaney '00 won in women's singles, the other three singles players decided to create some high drama, forcing the rest of the team to win their matches. Faye Chao "Francseco Rinaldi" '01, Tobin "What time does the stupid bus leave?" Abraham '01, and the indomitable Will "The Standard" Goldfarb '00 all fell in the championship, but without their Herculean efforts in the regular season, there would have been no championship to speak of.

With the win, Calhoun increased its lead over "The Moose" for third place, setting up a run for the top spot in the winter. And don't think that the run won't take place. After all, Calhoun has The Chyz '01.

(Compiled by someone who wants Mr. Big to know that just because he's seen me with her doesn't mean I'm sleepin' with her.)

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