Minor Threats

unbunch your panties

Stress Down Day
Fri., Dec. 11, 12 to 4 p.m.
The President's Room
Woolsey Hall
Free
"Dude, is there gonna be a wet T-shirt contest? 'Cause that would totally, like, stress me down. I'm, like, totally into, like, visualization therapy. And nipples."

punky's revenge

The Viola Question Studies Brakes
Mon., Dec. 7, 9 p.m.
Stiles Little Theater
$2
World's Worst Place: Cirque du Soleil Moon Frye, a three-ring breast-reduction circus.

son of thülk

Ex!t Players Christmas Show
Wed., Dec. 9, 9 p.m.
Trumbull common room
$2
Three words guaranteed to get a laugh: mastication, kumquat, prick.

friendly gentle dentist

Pearly Sweets & the Platonics, Positive/Negative Man, $3 Depth Charge, and the Pyrodydacs
Fri., Dec. 4, 8:30 p.m.
The Women's Center
$1
MT was once in the Platonics, but MT had sex with everyone in the band. Next time, it's all groupies, all the time. Where's David Lee Roth's phone number?

check, please

The Dumb Waiter
Fri., Dec. 4 & Sat., Dec. 5,
8:30 & 11 p.m.
The Yale Cabaret
$6
Welcome to Hooters, can I take your order?"

candyland

The Wizard of Oz
York Square Cinema
This weekend
The house is gonna crash! Abandon ship! Quick, save the midget! Shave the lion.

steam tunnels

Understanding the
Female Orgasm
Thurs., Dec. 3, 7 p.m.
Sudler Hall
Free
What? Damn. Missed it.

--McPorn, Mr. Salty, and Malibu Skipper don't wanna go away mad, they just wanna go away.

Back to A&E...