Eli athletes, coaches turn losses into lessons

Channeling the disappointment of losing into inspiration is of key importance.

By Christopher Burke

Most sports lovers admit that they love athletic competition for its simplicity; in sports, there is always a winner and always a loser. Fans either go home happy following a victory or wondering what might have been after a tough defeat. Simple, right?

Well, not quite. While in the standings, there are only columns for wins and losses (and ties, depending on your game), the emotions that go along with either outcome often linger far beyond the final minute or last out of a game. It's not always easy for athletes and coaches to erase the pain of a tough loss quickly enough to get back on the field mentally prepared for the next game, usually just days away.

So how do they do it? After losses, coaches have to juggle the responsibility of constructively criticizing their teams with making sure that their players are in the right frames of mind for the future. Athletes must get themselves physically and emotionally prepared to erase the memories of painful defeats and play their next games at the highest level. It's not an easy process, and no two players go about it the same way.

Game face

JULIA TIERNAN/YH Wide receivers coach Paul Petosa instructs wide receiver Jake Borden, JE '00, during the Bulldogs' 34-21 loss to Pennsylvania, the eventual Ivy League champions.

Men's hockey goalie Alex Westlund, SM '99, isn't used to losing, especially after last season's amazing run through the ECAC regular season and into the NCAA playoffs. So with his team off to a slow 2-4 start, Westlund must bounce back in a big way over the next few weeks.

According to the All-American, though, in order to move forward, you shouldn't necessarily forget tough defeats. "To a certain extent, you have to let losing bother you," he said. "It's the only way that you can use it to affect you in a positive way in future games. You have to remember what felt different in the loss--maybe if the type of shots you were facing were different, for example. In any situation, win or lose, it's important to analyze what went well or what went poorly."

Not much went poorly for Lindsay Hobbs, PC '99, this season. Unanimously selected to the All-Ivy first team, Hobbs also captained an Eli field hockey team that captured the ECAC title and compiled an impressive 13-4 record. She said, however, that had it not been for the team's handling of losing, rather than winning, the season might have had turned out very differently.

"We lost a tough game to Brown early in the season," she said. "If we had taken that loss too personally, or left the game thinking we were a terrible team, I'm sure it would have carried over to later games, and who knows how the season would have turned out? We came from that game a much stronger team, because from that point on, we realized that we had to play with more intensity for the remainder of the schedule."

Players cite team chemistry as one of the most important aspects of rebounding after losses. Peter Sarantos, MC '00, who led the Bulldog football team with 10 sacks in 1998, said that his teammates' ability to work as a unit helped pull them through some of the toughest parts of the season.

"After losses, everyone hangs their heads for a little while and licks their wounds," Sarantos said. "But it takes a special group of guys to put that behind you and move on. Chemistry plays a big part in that. When you care less about yourself and more about the people behind you, the team starts to become a kind of family. And when that happens, you drive yourself to work that much harder--you want everyone around you to succeed."

`Mad as hell'

Yet players aren't the only ones affected by losing. Their coaches feel the pain as well, and must shake off bad feelings and present a positive image to the team the next day in practice. For most coaches, this can be a difficult and delicate task.

"I take losing very personally," men's soccer coach Brian Tompkins said. "But I'm generally pretty even-keeled with the players. I don't vent just to make myself feel better. Sure, there are times when I'm mad as hell about how an individual played or how things are going, but it doesn't do any good to just attack the guys."

Women's basketball coach Cecilia DeMarco agreed. She feels that keeping losses in perspective is one of the most difficult aspects of coaching, but one that requires her to maintain a strong personal attitude.

"You have to practice a little bit of self-control," DeMarco said. "Sometimes you have to do something to take your mind off it--take a jog, work out. But you can't carry a loss into the next day of practice, which is really difficult, because as a coach, you just finished watching a tape and have seen mistakes over and over. You really have to work at it--it's not easy to just let it go. But it is really tough. Losses hurt me as much today as they did 20 years ago when I first started coaching."

How a coach addresses his or her players after a loss depends on the individual athlete. Men's basketball coach Dick Kuchen knows that each of his players will respond differently to criticism, and their response tells Kuchen something about their character.

"You could talk to one player after a loss and he could take what you said as constructive criticism," Kuchen said. "There are others that might not take it so well. But as a coach, you're the messenger, and it's a shared responsibility between coach and player to not take things too personally. The players that become the best are the ones that can handle the criticism after a tough game."

The right time

When is the best time for a coach to approach his or her team? Emotions can run high directly after a loss, but one also has to worry about letting things go on for too long without addressing problems directly. Football coach Jack Siedlecki feels that his ritual of addressing his team on the field immediately after both wins and losses keeps his team focused, especially when things don't go as planned. "The players need you when they lose," Siedlecki said. "They don't need you as much after a victory. I started my tradition of meeting after the game in a team huddle at Worcester Polytechnic, and the reason was to bring all the guys in and address them as a group. I feel it's my job to address them, right after the game, and what I do helps me focus as well--not just on what I have to do, but what we have to do as a team in the future."

Siedlecki said he feels that strong student leadership can be the best remedy for losing. After his team's 34-21 loss to Pennsylvania on Sat., Oct. 31, the coach was impressed at how well his players handled a difficult press conference. Even after a disappointing game, his players were poised, not allowing their emotions to get the best of them.

"Our kids did an unbelievable job in the press conference after the Penn game," Siedlecki said. "Those conferences are tough for me as a coach, and it's my job to be there. But after Penn, our guys all walked into the room at the same time, sat down, and answered every question. And even when the reporters tried to be negative, they just responded that Penn was a great team, and that they played a great game today. I was really impressed with how they handled themselves." Siedlecki's Bulldogs didn't lose another game after that press conference, going 3-0 and capturing the H-Y-P title for the first time since 1990.

When Vince Lombardi said, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing," he may have been mistaken. Winning is that last thing--the last step on a journey that often involves passing through valleys before reaching the heights.

Graphic by Sara Edward-Corbett.

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