Smack Zone

Bialik
What a week. Shot down by the ladies, lost my lead, and now Smack is being overrun by the YDN. Times like these call for vices, but I would never drink, of course, so gambling it is. The Giants will upset Arizona-- hello wild-card race ($5,000). Speaking of football, Tommy Bowden is a dirtbag. The dirtbag Tigers are no match for men's hockey; they'll be swept like the proverbial dirty floor ($11,025 each game). Men's basketball will win the Phoenix Classic consolation game ($5,000). If you want a good time, call Pines, Ace, and Tay-Tay at 2-2415. Happy b'day, PC and JS. Last week: +$3,000. Current balance: $32,050.

Breglio
Well, thanks boys, it's been real nice playing with you. In the end, though, we all are wise enough to comprehend the sublime truth of our Smack Zone graphic: CB is still reeling from having been surpassed, and I had Mr. G in the palm of my hand from Day One. Since final bets are just a formality, I'll go ahead and wager that men's hockey will crush the Tigers twice this weekend ($5,000 each). The Mets will also undoubtedly sign another overrated, overpriced player ($5,000), and the first-place (?!!) Jets will crush Seattle, steamrolling their way to the playoffs ($6,000). Oh, and I will get through the rest of this week without being fooled by one of Dave's undetectable smiling lies ($2,000). How's that for a Smack Queen? Last week: +$10,000. Current balance: $35,260.

Goldenberg
I'm afraid that in this, the last week, all of my fellow sports editors/bitches are going down like the proverbial monsoon. Flesch, if you're not familiar with this terminology, it's because you're not used to being "sent to back." On to more lucrative pursuits. The Tigers will go down to the tune of 10,000 bucks a pop, once in The Whale and once in the heart of I-can't-go-out-tonight-because-you-know-what-happened-last-time-I-tried-to-be-soial land. The Eli fencers will have their sweet way with M.I.T. ($10,000) as our swordsmen will win by 15 matches ($5,000). Look for UAB to top the 'Toppers ($3,000) and crack the top 10 ($1). Last week: +$500. Current balance: $22,850.

Dan Fleschner Guest
This won't be difficult, considering my opponents have a combined sports IQ of that chimp Goldenberg followed around Africa. You already know that having perused the Herald sports section. With two hockey games this weekend, Hamilton will pick up at least four points, Westy will turn away 50 shots, and Gauger will spend at least eight minutes in the penalty box ($2,000 each). In football, Kansas State will thump the Aggies by 10 ($3,000) while UCLA holds off Miami ($3,000). On the basketball court, UConn brings joy to all of mankind with a double-digit win over Michigan State ($5,000). Last week: -$1,000. Current balance: $18,807.

Dan Fleschner, CC '01, won Pick the Pros this week. He likes IMs, the YDN, mud wrestling, and contact sports involving chickens.

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