Ezra Stiles

Some teams have already started their ascent to the glory of winning shirts. Football, both men's and coed, tallied resounding victories over the 'Bull (or shall we say steer). Led by captains Mike "Who Said Tackling Was Illegal?" Hargis '00 and Si "Si, Everywhere is Si" Chin '99, the men's team rolled to a near shutout. (The fact that the writer of this report only played two plays, one of which included Trumbull's first score, is totally coincidental.) And the coed team outplayed their opponents with a finesse which can only be attributed to the appearance of "Saint" Patrick "of" Bumatay '00, and the leadership of "Armand A" Santi Duewel '00 and Tad "The Thief" Yanagi '00, whose nickname is due less to his defense than his acquisition of toilet paper.

In other sports, well, we tried real hard. And we'll keep trying. And then we'll win. Everyone seems to have already handed Morse the tennis championship, but our captains have promised victory on the court. Helen "Lindsay Davenport" Chan '99, Josh "Let Me Be" Frank '01 and "Don't Take Him For" Grant "ed" Chavin '01 are so good they weren't allowed to play any Grand Slams. Table tennis fought valiantly despite the absence of Joe "Mama" Harburger '99 before falling Tuesday. Captain Josh "Put a" Kap "In their ***" lowitz '00 is confident in his team's ability. Ability to do what, no one is quite certain, but we all hope it involves a paddle.

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