Smack Zone

Goldenberg
Welcome back to Smack. It's too bad my fellow editors haven't properly prepared for the ass-whipping they shall soon receive, but as the semester goes on, they will get used to being, in the immortal words of Nelson Rockerfeller, "my bitch." To prove it, I'm going to show them where they can put their Jets, as $2,000 says that the Broncos will spank them into submission. And poor, poor Dan Reeves...no, wait, that's tasteless, so I'm just going to say that Moss will score two touchdowns ($1,000) and that the Vikings will win ($1,000) and score more than 30 ($1,000). Current Balance: $5,000

Morris
Unfortunately, though he has editorial experience, Goldenberg lacks wisdom. I'll match his $2,000 and say the Jets are on the next plane to Miami. It would have been a better Miami, however, if Johnson actually made his exit. Although it kills me to make this wager, I'm betting another $1,000 that the Islanders lose their game this Saturday, no matter who they play. They may be one of the worst teams in hockey this decade, but hey, at least they're consistent. And I'll put another $1,000 that Zigmund Palffy puts at least one in the net. So look out, boys...the war is on! Current Balance: $5,000

Guest
So Bama and the rookies are in for a good, old-fashioned ass-whuppin' courtesy of their new boss. Let me tell it like it is: the New Jersey Jets will pull off the big upset at Mile High, sending my roommate into a state of ecstasy previously thought attainable only through the abuse of heavy drugs ($1,500). Also look for Vinny to toss Keyshawn the damn ball in the endzone at least once ($500), while Curtis runs another one in ($500). And expect the Gatorade to return in fine form as Bill gets a citrus cooler shower ($500). Current Balance: $5,000. David Altschuler is the Editor-in-Chief of the Herald.

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