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Smack Zone
Ax
Okay, okay, so I took a beating last week (anyone who
says he knew Atlanta would win is lying his ass off). All champions, however,
must encounter--and conquer--adversity before they can be crowned. Think of
last week as my gift to Goldenberg and Morris. Now the domination can
officially begin. Of course, I'm broke, but since when did that stop any
self-respecting gambler? Put down $1,000 (I'm good for it) on men's hockey to
trash Army this weekend. Now that men's and women's b-ball actually won a game
each, I'm picking them to sweep Brown on Friday ($1,500 each). Last Week:
-$5,000 Current Balance: $0.
Goldenberg
I've learned now not to doubt the South, my homeland.
Like a phoenix rising from the proverbial ashes, those dirty birds had their
sweet way with Moss et al. In the spirit of rebellion, watch as the men's and
women's hoops teams both pick up elusive wins this week ($1,000 each), and I
finally beat Fletch in a game of Bond ($5). Lombard will block at least
20 shots ($2,000) against Army, and my man Noe will get at least two minutes in
the box ($500). Western Ontario will be beaten like a red-headed stepchild by
men's squash ($2,000), and the Z-man will lose his V-card ($1). Last Week:
-$1,000 Current Balance: $5,000.
Morris
So the Jets are home golfing and Atlanta is on the next
flight to Miami to actually play in the Super Bowl. Who'd've thunk it?! Since
there's no football this week, I'm gonna have to go with the NHL again. Zigmund
Palffy let me down last week, so I'm gonna give him another chance to bring me
some loot. He'll score at least one for the Isles in their next game ($1,000).
Sticking to the hockey motif, I'll sayYale men's hockey picks up a win in its
next game ($1,000). It's time to prove Giroux was the captain, not God. And I'm
going to take a chance and put $500 on a victory for women's hoops in their Ivy
matchup against Brown tonight. Last Week: -$3,000 Current Balance:
$2,000.
Guest Aaron Zamost
Hi, I'm Randall Cunningham. I used to think Jesus liked
me. Moving on, these stoney zonies are a bunch of bitches, but props go to
Goldenberg for saying Testaverde was testes-less and picking Denver. But on to
predictions. Men's hockey tries to be all it can be and conquers Army ($1,000),
and the offense remembers how good it used to be, scoring at least four ($500).
In Cali, my Bruins take Louisville and Washington St. ($1000 each) as JaRon
Rush scores at least 15 in both ($500) and Coach Lavin uses a lot of hair gel
($5). Last Week: -$2,000 Current Balance: $3,000.
Aaron Zamost is an arts and entertainment editor for the Herald. He
looks like Michael Douglas in the feature film Falling Down.
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