It's gotta be da shoes

Tongue-in-Chic
    By Jamil V. Moen

The poignant departure of Michael Jordan, arguably this century's greatest athlete, marks a sad moment in American history. A hole will linger in the American psyche for years to come. Okay, the sports world might feel his absence, but I'm talking about my closet here! Jordan's resignation signals not only the end of an era in basketball, but the probable expiration of a Nike shoe line.

A veritable Chanel bag for the sports set, the wildly successful Air Jordan was a boon for both athletics and fashion. This leather and rubber concoction birthed a new style movement. "Jordans" had a spokesperson/model—his Airness, of course—and occasional camp commentary from Spike Lee. They went through seasonal style transmogrifications—high top, low top, wildly colorful, minimal. They even became a status symbol—ravenously coveted, outrageously overpriced, and the inspiration for prepubescent muggings all across America. Nike's status as an economic, cultural, and stylistic powerhouse owes itself to this single creation.

The case of Air Jordans is but one illustration of the power of the shoe. Shoes are essential for the completion of a look and the mark of true style. Footwear has become an increasingly important element in the fashion world and in the mind of the everyday consumer. Some might even say this shoe fetish—and I don't mean patent-leather-boot licking—is out of hand. A sneak peek at some of my friends' triple-digit shoe collections would make Imelda Marcos look like a quitter.

In a tribute to the shoe, therefore, I have compiled a quickie list of the highs and lows in the shoe world this year.

Best/Most Ubiquitous: Undoubtedly, the motorcycle spoke-inspired Nike Air Terra Humara and the dark (gray) horse favorite New Balance All Terrain 801. These kicks have reached ridiculous levels of visual redundancy. On a higher fashion note, Prada's Vibram-soled napa leather geek treads, as well as her Miu Miu athletic bottom Mary Janes, were devastatingly chic and quirky (the raison d'être of Prada, no?).

Worst: Has anyone been fooled by Nike's antics of late? Stop flooding the market with Humaras in every color, re-releasing every Airmax ever made (in different colors), and putting out just plain bugly shoes. Make new ones, puhleeeeeeeease!

Also in the "worst" category: the quality of Steve Maddens. Every girl I know has had the heel or the sole break way too soon. I have an eerie feeling that this dearth of quality is actually a desperate attempt at salvation by the migrant sweatshop workers who make these shoes. Look inside the broken-off platform and you'll find a note that says,"Help! I am making $1 a day, chained to a machine making overpriced boots for Greenwich girls!"

Why all the fuss about shoes? Don't be fooled: this seemingly banal item of clothing actually tells us a lot about people—profession, personal style, peer group. The first time I met a friend of mine here, for example, she told me she was psychic. Wanting to seize her for evil experimentation, I surreptitiously inquired as to the secret of her psychic ability. Her reply was simple: look at people's shoes, and you can tell what kind of people they are. She sure as hell wasn't psychic, but she was definitely right. Different tribes of people are associated with different types of footwear. The goth have their combat boot, the club kids their platforms, and the hippies their Birkenstocks.

Recently, more specific trends have begun to emerge. The new alterna-shoe is definitely the dingy gray, monochromatic, mysteriously expensive New Balance. Formerly the key to Old White Man City, this WASPy running shoe has been snapped up by scruffy Patagucci-and-corduroy kids everywhere. The fashionphile, on the other hand, will surely sport the newest Nike or the latest Prada creation. The vaguely European-style monger or old-school raver covets a pair of classic Adidas and dons inconspicuously funky John Fluevogs. Tropical climate denizens, such as Floridians and Californians, rock Pumas regularly. And what upper middle class white girl would be caught dead without her Steve Madden boots or stack heel penny loafers?

It is not only the brand, but the condition of the shoe that reveals character. Ladies, if a guy is trying to talk game to you (especially the I-am-suave-and-rich type), be sure always to look down, past his crotch, and check the shoes. If they are Bikes or Roos, or have squirrel feces festering on them, run like the wind.

Bearing that in mind, children, submit yourselves to the omnipotent reign of sneaker chic, plan your fabulous footwear carefully, and be style superstars in 1999.

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