Davenport

In the middle of last week's match against Berkeley, which we won 2-0, Catherine and Josephine went for the same ball and crashed into one another. Josephine managed to run into Catherine's elbow, giving herself a nice black eye for her med school interview the next day. If you too want to experience not only the thrill of victory, but the exhilaration that comes with exposure to bodily dangerous situations, D-port women's volleyball is the place for you.

For those of you who prefer water sports, there is, of course, coed innertube water polo. From captain Lincoln Else '99: "As Friedrich Nietzsche said, `There comes a time in every person's life when there is nothing left to do but stick your ass in a rubber tube and get soaking wet.'" Lincoln also recommends wearing jeans in the rubber tube, because, come on, you really don't know where it's been.

Lincoln also wanted to pass along this message to all former, present, and future D-port water polo players: "Those of you that have not been attending our daily practices, the team is looking powerful this year. The meditation sessions have been augmenting the weight training effectively, though attendance at the morning workouts has fallen off since clothing was made optional. I should also remind all team members that our corporate sponsor encourages the use of all Tupperware products in and out of the practice pool." You heard the man--and good luck in the House of Payne this week, Davenport.

(Compiled by someone who should be studying now.)

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