Morse

Coming down to the final game, a deadlocked match in the squash championship against Saybrook, our sophomore standouts, led by Michael "Big Daddy" Hoevel and Colin "Flash in the" Pan fell one win short of the title for the second year in a row. Verdict: does not exist.

Having lost the ice hockey title to an inferior Saybrook team last season, one might believe there is no savior. But God works in mysterious ways, and that loss drove us on to bigger and better things. A thrashing of Saybrook last week virtually assured us our first hockey shirts in three years. Verdict: does exist. TD is absolutely abysmal in all winter IMs. Verdict: does exist. Morse women's volleyball, having twice lost matches by less than three points in the third game, finally pulled out a victory against TD last week. Verdict: unclear.

Under the leadership of Christopher "Sexy Momma" Kelly '00, our swimmers are already 5-0 and are poised to take the shirts. Verdict: does exist. And finally, despite a slow start for Morse IMs, which saw us down more than 100 points in the standings after only 10 days, we now find ourselves solidly in third and within striking distance of second as the season comes to a close. Verdict: wait until next year.

(Compiled by an IM secretary who devoutly practices the religion of intramurals.)

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