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Timothy DwightDear Lord, it's been a while since my last confession. We never talk anymore. You never call me unless you need something. I can't go on like this. I told you not to miss the water polo championship last week between Timothy Dwight and Branford, but you didn't show up. The match didn't even count for points, but you know what? That really doesn't matter. What matters is that you missed the greatest innertube water polo game of all time. If you aren't too busy today, you could give St. Peter some of these names to put on the VIP list. Certainly Kevin "Seeing a therapist about my temper" Schelenski '00, Merrill "Not that much Vaseline, just a" Dobson '00, Ben "I'm getting a surgical extension to make my" Langworthy '00, Gates "I told her not to use" Hurand '00, Lily "I'm thinking about selling out to Goldman over J.P." Morgan '00, and Louise "Lunch" Baker '99 all deserve an afterlife of harp playing in Paradise for their season-long effort and outstanding performance. I know Gates and I did some questionable things in the pool shower after a few games, but hey--we're young and randy. Oh--and, God, make sure to reward that big, friendly, lovable superintendent at the gym. His warmth is so contagious it makes my heart positively sing with joy!I'm glad we had this little talk. I got the mix tape you made for me--I didn't know you were such a Grand Funk Railroad fan! See you at a session in the poolhouse at the Hamptons next week--you owe me a game of Zonk! Get ready for spring!
(This missive was brought to you by the letters E, S, and P. Compiled by W.T.)
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