Trumbull

At a recent Trumbull College Council meeting, it was proposed that Trumbull remove itself from the Yale IM League this spring and begin competition in the Albertus Magnus IM League. In the new league, the AM IM, Trumbull would be an instant powerhouse. However, the move was strongly opposed by many in the Bull system. They want to keep fighting, even after years without the scholarships and money and drugs and prostitutes that other colleges give to recruit the best players. The corruption is rampant, but the Trumbull faithful take pride in their staunch principles.

We all know IMs aren't always fair--as Trumbull IM secretary Tamar Smolowitz says, "That Master T down at the ghetto college is a real nut. I think him and the Berzerkeley dean sell drugs to children and use the money to hurt Trumbull. Look at the evidence: first the mice, then the dishwasher. People in Trumbull are getting pissed."

But Tamar knows it could be worse. "I'm just glad I don't live in the sucky swing space with its fishy air conditioning system or out in East Haven like Urbany Blight College. I'm glad we're not getting out," she says. "Don't get mad, Trumbull. Get even."

(Compiled by Jonathan Trumbull, Colonial Governor.)

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