Smack Zone

Ax
Wait a minute. Morris (see below) says I bet like a girl? Let's look at her three bets this week, hmmm? Duke hasn't lost a game since November, the Lakers are playing the Clippers, for God's sake, and Harvard women's hockey has won 21 straight games. Wow, Morris, you really showed us how to bet like a man. I was going to insult Goldenberg, but I looked at his score and felt sorry for him. The Ax is finally in first. How you like me now, bitch? Men's hockey sweeps this weekend ($1,000 each), while men's basketball manages a "W" ($800). The Knicks kill the Heat ($1,000), and Pat Riley is still a well-dressed piece of crap ($5). Last Week: +$1,540. Current Balance: $5,255.

Goldenberg
All the talk these days is about who's on the bubble. No, I'm not referring to a certain co-editor's efforts to improve his or her sex life--I mean college hoops. Look for UAB to improve their Dance hopes by shellacking the Billikens ($2,000) courtesy of 20-plus points by Damon Cobb ($1,000), and don't be suprised when UNCC drubs an inexperienced DePaul squad ($500). A team that's not so on-the-bubble, our own Bulldogs will raise some eyebrows when they take at least one win this weekend ($1,000), and our hockey team will gain home ice by winning both games up north ($1,000 each). Last Week: -$1,500. Current Balance: -$1,491.

Morris
Wow, I lost $2,500. That's a shame. It's only 'cause everyone else is betting like a girl. I called Ax a woman and he hit me with his purse. On to betting like a man...I'll put up $2,000 that Duke goes undefeated in the ACC this week, beating the tar out of theTar Heels. Another $2,000 says the Lakers win their first game with Rodman, whatever his hair color. And going out on a limb, as I have been this whole Smack, I'll wager $1,000 that Harvard women's hockey wins both games this week. Put that in your purse and smoke it. Last Week: -$2,500. Current balance: $3,254.

Guest James Click
I'm clearly the only one here with any credentials, having defeated all y'all in the Pick the Pros "contest". Have fun playing for second, chumps. Speaking of second, I'll take Duke over Carolina for the second time this season ($800). In "pro" ball, Charlotte and Chicago combine for the lowest point total of the season on Saturday ($400) and Shaq kills Rodman by week's end ($50). Locally, men's basketball takes at least one game from Dartmouth or Harvard this weekend ($500) and hockey does the same against Dartmouth and Vermont ($500). See ya next week! Last Week: +$2,000. Current Balance: $1,460. James Click, a junior in Morse, won Pick the Pros last week despite knowing nothing about anything. If you too know nothing about anything, go to www.yale.edu/herald/pickthepros and try your luck.

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