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Jonathan Edwards

If all the other colleges knew what Stiles and Branford know, they'd be smart enough not to show up for any billards games against JE. JE dominates. Yong "Bruce" Li '00, Greg "I'm so bad I'm" Goodman '00, Miki "Give me some of that" Kunitake '00, Nadia "The" Krupp "tor" '99, Beth "I like big" Johnston '99, and Andrew "Schl"Wong '00 had to mop the blood off the floor after their 127-72 and 123-88 thrashings of Stiles and Branford, respectively. They can't be stopped. They have moves up their sleeves that I've only seen on ESPN2 late at night when those really hot women play professional pool and wear those really tight skirts and...anyway, they're pretty good.

The Ultimate team has represented and is contending to make it to the finals. After a rousing 7-4 defeat of Stiles, the team lost a hard-fought battle against Branford. However, don't count us out yet. Captains Carl Bialik "these nuts" '01 and Alex "I'll have the tonic and" Jhin '01 lead a group of JEers who are itching for their game against Saybrook next week. Saybrook, I'm challenging you all not to lose too badly.

The volleyball team has had two tough losses, falling short in the third game each time. Captain Will McGrath '00, Johnny Swagerty '00, and Sarah MacGregor '02 are leading the pack with some solid playing--they just need a few W's to show for their efforts. This season ain't over until the fat lady sings, and we know fat ladies don't come out to IMs, so don't count JE out of climbing up the ladder.

(Compiled by Seung C. Lee.)

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