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Algeria's efforts at democracy are proving as laughable as Yale's: six of the seven candidates for president have "dropped out" in favor of the candidate preferred by the nation's military establishment, Abdelaziz Bouteflika. Outgoing President Liamine Zeroual defended the process, saying that he is impressed with Bouteflika's commitment to the nation. Zeroual speculated that other candidates may have dropped out due to the strength of the remaining candidate(s) and the massive time commitment the job involves.

The former candidates, meanwhile, have announced that they dropped out because they wished to spend more time with their families, and, incidentally, could the nice men in the tanks pointed at their houses go somewhere else for a while?

It don't matter to the Jesus

A Sudanese judge has sentenced 10 people to death by crucifixion for inciting tribal clashes in the western part of the nation: more than 100 people were killed in the fighting. Though these sentences have yet to be approved by the Sudanese Supreme Court, the judge, el-Amin el-Tayeb, was confident in the wisdom of his position, as he was in his next ruling, over a case of a disputed baby. Later in the day, the judge sliced the Gordian knot and attempted to part the Red Sea, only to realize that it was thousands of miles away and that he lived in a desert.

Your schwartz is as big as mine

Pakistan, apparently suffering from missile envy, test-fired a 1,250-mile ballistic missile on Wed., Apr. 14. This successful test confirms that Pakistan is keeping up with rival India in their arms race. In fact, the longer-range missiles now can circle India completely before finally settling on a target. Pakistani defense officials, however, have said that they won't be satisfied until their missiles can spell neat messages with their vapor trails. They have vowed that the fact that their rival is inconveniently located next door will not deter them from an old-fashioned, long-range arms race.

--Compiled by Dave Oppenheim from Reuters.

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