Trumbull

The Champions of Apathy, better known as the Trumbull IM squad, end another despicable season in the place they find most comfortable—last. We play the games, we try hard, but time and again, the fat lips of fate spit a nappy looch into our way. Take the miserable example of Elias Hyams '00. In the last coed softball game, on a routine pop fly to his position in the outfield, Hyams felt an inexplicable desire to dive for the ball. Nice attempt, Eli. Sorry you got a broken toe in exchange for dropping the ball. Other top performers out on the diamond include Sistah Schmid '02 and her friend, "The Bum Leg." Gutsy show of team spirit by the tandem, but too little too leg. Raf Lena '99, "The minister of hustle" blasts the long ball with regularity, but after four years of beer and pizza he seems to have forgotten how to run. Oops, sad price to pay for a Yale degree. Well, it's obvious that we suck as a whole, but the sun shines on a dog's ass some days. This year has been replete with disappointments for the Bullish herd, but I must give real and honest shout-outs to the Bull men's soccer team and its undefeated season and the Bull A-hoops squad for its prophecy-fulfilling win over those skeezers in Pierson. Nice try everyone, we'll keep bucking next year.

(Compiled by Jonathan Trumbull, Eternal Badass.)

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